The Artist At Work

Andy was mooching yesterday. In between mooching, he was disappearing to his study to play ever-so-important- and-exciting action adventure games on his PC. Although I don't understand this particular aspect of the male psyche,I don't object to it either; Andy works extremely hard and when he's on holiday I think he has the right to do as he darn well pleases.

Anyway, he appeared half-way through the afternoon and created a massive slump 'n' sigh combination move onto the sofa, just as I had succumbed to some tatty day-time TV to do the ironing to.

'We should start designing our Christmas cards,' I said. 'It's only seven weeks until Christmas and we'll probably need to think about posting them next week if these postal strikes continue.'
'Okay,' said Andy. 'What did you have in mind for the designs?'
'I think they should have a chicken theme,' I said, because, as you may have gathered, we are very keen on chickens.
'So do I,' said Andy.

So I got a pad of plain white paper and a very new, very sharp pencil, put on the DVD of 'A Muppet Christmas Carol' to get us in the festive mood and we started bouncing some ideas through the air.

I always find that if I start these projects, at some point in the proceedings Andy will be appalled at my incompetent drawing skills and remove the pencil and paper from me and continue the job himself. Again, I don't mind this because although I can see very clearly in my mind what I want to appear on the paper before me, somehow, between the brain and pencil, the skill of a huge gorilla trying to handle a tiny purple wax crayon seems to take over.

We decided to design a set of cards, just in case WHSmiths sees them and wants to sell an assorted boxed set.(Be prepared for all eventualities, that's what I say.) The designs were to be based on Christmas carols, with a cunning chicken twist. So, after much searching through our vast collection of Christmas song CDs, and discarding the more tenuous ideas, we came up with these four on which to base the pictures - 'Good Queen Henseslas Looked Out...On the Feast of Steve's Hen,' 'O Little Town of Bethle-hen...How Still We See Thee Lay,''God Rest Ye Merry, Gentle Hen...Let Nothing You Mis-lay,' and 'In the Beak Mid-Winter...Long Time Egg-O.'

(And if you think these titles are a bit dodgy, you should see the one's we discarded!)

My attempt at the drawing of a hen looked like a very fat banana with a rubber glove attached. Andy took over almost immediately, gentle removing the pencil from my gorilla-like grip. And the thing with Andy and his artistic skills is that he doesn't like to blow his own trumpet and he should because he is a very talented artist. In fact, in the words of Blackadder, 'You could have at least told us you had a trumpet.'
'You do the main drawings,' I said. 'And I'll take charge of sticking Christmas tat around the edges. And writing the Christmas poem inside.'

And so the deal was done. Christmas card production at Much Malarkey Manor is well underway. And I can't wait to get out my glitter and glue!!