Monday 20 July 2009

Building continues apace

The construction of Much Malarkey Manor (virtual world) continued apace yesterday. We had a brief respite to nip to the allotment to get blackberries, courgettes, french beans, runner beans and potatoes, but other than that, Sunday was all go all day web site building.

Having shared many a telephone moment of the re-building of Vera and Lester's Labartere en France, all I can say is that virtual building is a lot less messy than real building. No mud, no dust, no noise, no swearing (well, a little bit maybe), in fact the only similarities are that I need to keep the builder supplied with tea, coffee and edible sustenance. And Andre's more a creative designer than your actual builder which means there is less sweat to mop up from the floor at break times.

So yesterday, the front page aka the grand entrance hall was created. There is wood pannelling, staff bells (not that I think the staff are likely to respond to a bell any more than I would, but I thought they added to the ambience), a visitor's book and a pot plant. There are going to be seven areas in the Manor open to the public, including the gardens. Much Malarkey Manor, if you weren't aware (very likely as I only decided this myself yesterday) is situated in the village of Olden Glish, which is twinned with Titbury von Streudelheim, the home of Nearly King Jimbo. The next door village is called Down-In-The-Dumps and all these places can be accessed from various sections of the Manor and each will offer its own features.

At one point in yesterday's proceedings I felt as if the site was getting too big and potentially unmanageable, but then I had a look at all the material I've accumulated over the past year and decided what the heck, in for a penny, in for a publishing deal, and that I could sustain the site for at least six months from the onset without it completely doing my head in. (Okay, maybe two weeks, but I'm feeling particularly optimistic today!)

Work has also started on the attic. I thought, 'the attic' sounded a bit dull and dusty, so it's been converted into 'The Belfry'. We're hoping to install some bats (you know, bats in the Belfry, crackers in the Kitchen, nuts in the Salon) and from the window you can see the mountains of Titbury von Streudelheim. Of course, the cellar could no longer remain the cellar after that so was renamed 'The Undercroft.' I think Andre has an eye on this area for storing his wine.

Mrs Pumphrey has offered her services as fashion tipster, so she will be installed in the Salon along with the resident agony aunt, Pandora Kitten, to answer all your fashion and lifestyle problems (you may want to think twice about accepting advice from a chicken with a pink bottom and a kitten with a brain the size of a pea though.)

Mrs Phoebe Flanbottom will be in charge of the kitchen. Phoebe is very excited about being able to share some of her more innovational recipes and culinary tips with you; she is less excited about being given the surname of Flanbottom.

'It's not very dignified,' she complained, when I broke the news.
'True,' I said. 'But it is topical and funny.'

Miggins is Head Gardener, a post she earned after her experimental raised bed gardening methods proved to be very successful. Okay, you have to delve amongst the lettuce to find the carrots and the parsnips are very random, but as she pointed out, 'It's all edible, isn't it?'

So that's the latest update. More to follow!

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