And so it is that I sit at the kitchen table now, having a bit of a break after achieving 4 hours of splendid purpose. I could say that this grand purpose was brought on by watching an episode of OCD Cleaners last night. Gosh, that was an eye-opener. One lady spent upwards of £800 a year on bleach! Bleach?! And another said she didn't have any friends because she spent pretty much all day every day cleaning her house, but then saw a peculiar silver lining to this by declaring she didn't want any friends anyway because they would only want to visit, and then they would bring dirt and germs into the house and she'd have to clean it again.
She should do what I do...make 'em stand on the doormat and steam clean them before admitting entrance. JOKING! Although I do love my steam cleaner...hmmmm...I wonder...
Anyway, the obsessive cleaning people were pitched headlong into houses that hadn't seen an anti-bacterial wipe, duster or vacuum cleaner for upwards of 5 years. The people in these houses at least had lives, I thought. And seemed very cheerful. Of perhaps it was a case of having to laugh or else they would cry into their three-inch deep dust encrusted soft furnishings. Either way, there was a great deal of shuddering occurring on both sides of the equation, and thus it was that I decided I really ought to defrost the freezer.
The freezer gets done twice a year. I don't know if this is OCD or sluttish, but it needed doing because I could no longer get into the ice cube tray. Not physically - good grief. Get a grip will you? I mean, there was more ice than need be in the ice cube tray, and besides, Christmas is on the way and soon a frozen goose will be needing a home. But for a few weeks now, I have been trying to empty the freezer prior defrosting, but PEOPLE keep putting things in it like bread and uncooked croissants and ice cream and smoked haddock.
Well, I finally managed to get the contents down enough to be housed in the cool box by coming up with some interesting evening meal combinations this week, and thus I set about the defrost. Flora Bijou Mybug tried to help. Never defrost a freezer with a kitten. Use a spatula instead.
And whilst I was dodging back and forth chipping at the ice with the spatula, I thought I might as well clear out the kitchen cupboards. Stupidly, I did a cutlery count whilst cleaning out the cutlery drawer. Of the 18 each of knives, forks and spoons that should have been present I now have 17 knives, 13 forks and 11 spoons and NONE of them make up a matching six place set. I tried to be Buddhist about it...
'But, my child,' said Buddhist Me. 'You can only use one knife, one fork, one spoon at a time. Surely there is enough here to match your simple needs?'
'Indeed,' said Me Me. 'But that relies on me eating alone all the time.'
'You are but one person. You are responsible only for yourself,' said Buddhist Me.
'Not at flippin' Christmas I'm not,' said Me Me.
'There is more to life and to being than having matching cutlery,' said Buddhist Me.
'Oh really?' said Me Me.
'And one day you will realise this,' said Buddhist Me, who was edging away because I think she was sensing Me Me was feeling slightly tetchy.
'Not likely to happen this side of 2014,' said Me Me. And thus the Cutlery Angst continues.
I extended the great cleaning purpose to the hallway where I pulled the shoe cupboard away from the wall and gave it a jolly good going over. I did a big pile of ironing. I went on-line and completed my Christmas Shopping#feelingfestivesmug. I sorted out some books to go to the charity shop, and some very old clothes to go to the clothing bank. I made a bit more of the Advent Bunting, because at the rate I am going it won't be ready until Christmas 2014.
And the freezer is nearly defrosted. I have achieved an empty cupboard in the kitchen that shall henceforth be known as The Festive Cupboard and people had better not fill it up with anything else just because it is currently empty and therefore a convenient dumping ground for other tat. It is a cupboard-in-waiting. I am thinking crackers and nuts.
I also have a wet floor floor because Flora Bijou Mybug took it upon herself to play skittles with chunks of falling ice.
All in all a purposeful morning.
And this afternoon I am planning an afternoon birthday tea for Saturday because Saturday is my birthday and some how people got invited to an open-house afternoon tea which I suppose means they will wanting to be fed afternoon tea delicacies like posh sandwiches and posh cakes. Hangers on will be treated to a fish 'n' chip supper Strictly Come Dancing evening.
If you are in the area, please come along! Whilst the cutlery lasts.