My Knight In Shining Armour

Isn't it nice when your man takes charge of a situation? Especially when he manages to beat you to a scathing remark, thereby saving you the embarrassment of coming over like a grumpy old harridan?

Today, having managed to synchronise our day off, Andy (aka 'The Knight') and I went forth across the kingdom to visit Canterbury 1) because we haven't been for a long time and 2) I had an urge to visit C & H Fabrics because I am going to have a go at making a Bunting Advent Calendar (I know - I can barely contain my excitement either) and needed some suitable seasonal fabrics. (Notice I didn't say 'Christmas!' Bum, I said 'Christmas!' Twice! Sigh...)

On the way, we did a detour to a Healing Retreat where I am hoping to begin a 2 year accreditation course in December. We couldn't go in because Monday is the Healing Clinic Day and it is therefore closed to public visitors, but at least I know where it is situated.

Anyway, we got to Canterbury, had a quick stop at Chives which is the independent cafe upstairs at one of the Waterstones, and does excellent lunch food and cakes etc, then Andy and I parted company for about an hour so I could visit M & S and C & H, and he could visit numerous video game stores and second hand bookshops, thereby avoiding boring each other to tears with each other's shopping preferences.

We rendezvoused at Lakelands where we got a little excited at the new range of Doctor Who muffin cases, ice cube trays and Dalek cake moulds. That was until we discovered the cake mould would produce a lying down Dalek and not a standing up Dalek as the picture would have us believe, so the manufacturers might want to reconsider their product packaging because we considered it to be misleading, but luckily we prised the packaging open to have look. (Other shoppers who did not have the foresight do this might well have been disappointed when they got home and discovered the hideous, flat-back Dalek truth.) We left clutching purchases of a new oven thermometer, the previous one having met with a melting moment end down the back of the oven in the gas flames of hell after Andy attempted to put a loaf in the oven via the 'fling it in' method, plus a pack of 500 greaseproof paper tin liners because you can never have enough.

Back to the park and ride then, and a quick pop into the pet store to get three-for-two kitten food offer for FBM because now she is growing very fast and ain't half getting through the (expensive) kitten food, filters for the kitty water fountain, then over to the bargain basement store to get cheapy cat litter, and a bucket o' meal worms for Primrose and Daisy. 

'And now to lunch!' said Andy.

And we stopped in at a garden centre on the way home because although the service is tortuous, the ambience is nice.

I ordered an egg and cress sandwich. I specifically did not have eggs for breakfast this morning because I knew I was going to have an egg and cress sandwich for lunch. I had, in fact, got myself all egg and cress hyped. Andy went for his usual tuna mayo baguette, and because we are dining light this evening (soup) I also had a bowl of wedges and Andy had a bowl of fat chips, because, as he said, 'One can never have enough potato-based products.'

Whilst we were waiting for our order to arrive (as I said, this place is notoriously slow at bringing food, but that is okay because it gave us chance to discuss Andy's planned blockbuster novel) a kitchen person arrived.

She said,'I have just been informed that we do not have any egg mayonnaise. Was there anything else you liked on the menu that I could bring you instead?'

Now, the sandwich options for vegetarians on the menu were the aforesaid unavailable egg and cress, and the bog standard cheese. I said, 'Well, I suppose it will have to be cheese, unless you have any other vegetarian options?'

And she said, 'I could do prawn. Most vegetarians eat fish.'

And before I could respond, Andy said, in a very no-nonsense and taking-charge kind of way, 'NO THEY DO NOT!' 

I don't know who was more surprised - me or the lady from the kitchen. Andy hasn't been that forceful since 11 years ago when he proposed to me by saying, 'I am trying to propose to you. Will you please shut up!?' It is usually me who holds the reins of confrontation in our partnership. It was all a bit unsettling, but a bit nice, too.

Anyway, the order duly arrived. The kitchen lady tried again to persuade me from my vegetarian ways by giving me Andy's tuna mayo baguette. I ate my cheese sandwich hoping I wasn't going to find a prawn head secreted inside in an act of culinary revenge and I dipped my wedges in mayonnaise. 

Andy said, 'Can I have one of your wedges?' And he took one. And then he said, 'You can have one of my chips in return.' And I said, 'If I wanted chips I would have asked for chips, wouldn't I?' and thus the reins of confrontation were returned to their rightful owner.

Then we went home. On the way we were subject to a mini bout of road rage from a (and I believe this to be the correct term, please excuse the rudeness) 'knob-head' in a car which was advertising a local fitness club. I looked it up on the Internet when I got home and his profile confirmed his knob-headedness. Still, I expect someone loves him. Bless.

And now I sit in my arty-crafty writing room, staring out the window at a stupid neighbourhood cat that is stuck in the netting fence of our chicken run. Primrose is sounding the alarm. The Knight in Shining Armour is in his way to sort it all out...