The Dog Poo Fairy

Yesterday, we received a newsletter from our local council - the one we contribute £148 a month to with seemingly little return - with an update on council issues raised by local residents. I was glad to see that one of the 'issues' was lorries and vans parking on pavements, except everyone in the family now think is it me who complained to the Council. Well, I did, AGES ago and the Council didn't want to know then, but now it seems more people are getting shirty about the issue and it is comforting to know that it's not just me getting stressy about it.

Another issue was entitled 'What has happened to Poop and Scoop?' Poop and Scoop are not, as Andy thought, the comedy cat and dog who are part of the Council's cartoon advertising campaign. Poop and scoop is the idea that when you take your dog out in a public place and it poops, as they invariably do, then you, as the owner, are obliged to scoop up the poop, and pop it in a bag to be placed in a suitable bin.

Not any more. On no. Poop and Scoop has apparently been replaced by a new campaign called 'There Is No Such Thing As The Dog Poo Fairy.'

What kind of a catchy campaign title is that?????

I mean, you know where you are with Poop and Scoop. I expect if you are a park warden and you see a dog doing its doo and the owner not clearing up behind it, then it's a lot easier to shout 'POOP AND SCOOP' at them, rather than 'THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS THE DOG POO FAIRY YOU KNOW!' which, because of its verbosity, could easily get caught in a crosswind if you know what I mean.

And, get this, Heather reported that when she was walking back through the park the other day, there were lots of little flags dotted around the grass, each one marking a pile of poop! Well, there's proof if you need it that the dog poo fairy DOES exist, because I can't think that any human being in their right mind would go around sticking little flags into piles of poop. Surely?

It's all getting a bit mental if you ask me.

No, I firmly believe that the dog poo fairy exists. She lives in the same fairy village as the Fairy who replaces empty loo rolls, the Fairy who empties the kitchen bin, the Fairy who can find things in drawers and the Fairy who knows where the clean socks are. And the Fairy who puts things away even though she didn't get them out. And the Fairy who washes clothes, irons them and puts them away in wardrobes.

In fact, there are many fairies of this ilk. If they didn't exist, the world as we know it would have ground to a halt years ago.

I just hope the dog poo fairy makes herself known to the Council as soon as possible and puts them straight on the matter.