Birthdays Galore

Well, it's all very inconvenient, this time of year. Within the space of four weeks my Mum, son, daughter and grand-daughter all have birthdays, which all require the making of birthday cakes, the buying of cards and presents, the organisation of celebrations of one sort or another.

And who is the Bringer of Jollity?


('Jupiter?' says Mrs Pumphrey, who is well up on her Planet Suite by Holst.)


No! Not bloomin' Jupiter...bloomin' me!


(I believe it is also Deanna's birthday today? Happy Birthday, Deanna, and if I have imagined it is your birthday, my apologies, but as you know it is all the fault of my age and hormones. Please save birthday felicitations for appropriate day (a clean jam jar will do), and open and release then. They will be just as fresh and chirpy as they are today. Unlike Phoebe Fat Cat who has got a right cob on at the moment.)

Any how, it was Chris's birthday yesterday, so I delivered a cake of the heavy-on-the-chocolate- and-Maltesers confection, and then I stayed to babysit Kayleigh (whose birthday it is today), whilst Chris and Leane went out for a birthday dinner. During the baby-sitting stint, Andy constructed Kayleigh's birthday present from us which was an ominously named 'Smartrike'. (That's 'smart' and 'trike' put together as one word, and not 'smart' and 'rike' as it appears, which when I first saw it made me think, 'What on earth is a 'rike?')

Andy, being a surgeon, is very good at constructing things. His method of casting a cursory glance at the picture instructions, casting them to one side and going along the ' that looks like it goes there,' method worked well, and soon the living room was overtaken by this pushalong-a-sitatop-a-whenyoucanyoupeddle contraption suitable for 10 months to 3 years. I was determined to wrap it, and wrap it I did although the wrapping method was creative to say the least and involved, to my shame, a certain amount of inner swearing, and getting sticky tape exactly where I didn't want sticky tape.

And today, my day off (ahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!), I am charged with the making of one hedgehog cake and a matching birthday party.

Now, it's a long time since I 'did' a children's birthday party. I thought, what shall I do, foodie wise? If I make the hedgehog cake the size of a spacehopper, will that suffice? In a moment of madness I googled 'children's party food ideas' and found myself on Mumsnet.

Have you ever entered the world of Mumsnet? Blimey, it was an eye-opener! I spent ten minutes reading all the posts and ideas and got scared and ran away.

So here is the plan.

There is no plan!

I am going to Sainsbugs, where I shall wander aimlessly until I have achieved at least 8,000 steps on my pedometer. Hopefully, during my aimless wanderings, my trolley shall become magically filled with the ingredients needed to feed a one year old little boho chicklet on her return from a day out at Brighton's Sea-Life Centre. (She is taking her parents with her - it would be heck of a long journey on a Smartrike. Much quicker in a car. Less tiring on the legs, too.)

I shall give the kitchen floor a jolly good scrub, so that the 10 second rule may be observed at the party. (What do you mean, you don't know the ten second rule? I'm not sure I am brave enough to tell you at the moment.)

I shall then go into the back garden with a cup of tea and the leftover Maltesers from Chris's cake that I cunningly hid from the Malteser thieves, where the sun is shining, (and before you pick up on that particularly dodgy piece of grammar, no, I did not hide the Maltesers where the sun is shining. Or not. The garden is shining... oh, shut up, Denise)...and I shall take a book with me, and read a bit, and then I shall fling the party food upon the table et voila!

The Bringer of Jollity triumphs once more.

Wish me luck!!