Hoo-ha

There seems to be a lot of hoo-ha going on at the moment regarding Britain's voting system. This morning, for example, there was hoo-ha occuring on Radio 4. I was in my little blue car on the way to work, and I'd like to say that I was listening to the hoo-ha but I wasn't because it was mostly Ed Miliband how was hoo-haa-ing and he has THE most aggravating voice, so when I listen to him all I hear is 'Urbleburble, yak yik sniffle, blah, blab, blah.'

And then there is hoo-ha about the Royal Wedding next month. Should we have such a display of extravagance in times of such austerity? Yes we should, it will cheer us up. No we shouldn't, Wills and Kate should hie themselves to Kensington Registry Office and nip to the 'Dog and Doo-Da' pub afterwards for scampi and chips in a basket. Well, for all we know that is exactly what they might be planning. A day earlier than the official do. And they might turn up on the steps of Westminster and go 'SURPRISE!! We've already done the deed. You can all go home now.'

And that would cause a hoo-ha, wouldn't it?

Then there's the hoo-ha following the budget cuts by the Arts Council of England. Whilst I kind of disapprove, because I am an arty type myself and wouldn't say no to being paid a ridiculous salary to run a dance-based theatre company for disadvantaged gibbons called something facetious like 'Gibbons With Ribbons', I kind of think that art is something you can, if you are truly arty, develop from nothing. C'mon, arty people of England! Show how creative you can be without the financial input of what are likely to be capitalist gleanings from a country struggling in debt. Papier mache is a good start - papier mache is cheap AND has limitless potential.

There is a lot of hoo-ha about Anne the Elephant, currently languishing in a circus but due to be re-homed in a safari park avec trees 'n' grass 'n' fresh air 'n' freedom any moment NOW! I love it! This is what makes England so great. We home in on the underdog (or in this case 'underelephant' - 'who's under an elephant?' says Mrs Slocombe?' 'No-one,' says Mrs Pumphrey. 'Take your medication and hush') and we won't let go until SOMETHING is DONE. Hurrah!

And finally, because I am getting chilly feet and need to go and find some fuzzy socks for my frozen toes, there is the hoo-ha about Prince Andrew being given some enormously important military medal thingy by his mum, the Queen. The hoo-ha comes in the form of 'does he really deserve it? Probably not,' and the fact that the Queen can give this honour to whomever she wishes without permission from anyone, not even the Government or Prince Philly. On a whim, if you like (which I believe is a type of velvet 'n' brocade cushionette.) Well, if you can't swing your weight around when you are Queen, when can you? Plus she's getting on a bit. And we all get a bit absent-minded and crazy like nuts as we grow older.

So here is to hoo-ha! It made my world go round today.