Too Green or to Green

The decorators are descending on the living room sooner rather than later, which means I have to make some pretty frantic decisons vis a vis paint 'n' carpet 'n' rug 'n' curtains. Oh yes, I'm going down the whole 'put-together-in-an-aesthetically-pleasing' route in order to counteract the 'flung-together-mismatched-ensemble' that seems to have taken over the living room in the last six years or so.

I don't quite know how it happened. I suspect it's something to do with my love-hate relationship with curtains. I tend to buy curtains at either end of the budget range i.e either very cheapy ones which fall apart quickly or very expensive ones which weigh a tonne and don't. So when the cheapy ones fall apart I root around in the attic amongst the expensive curtains I've amassed over the last twenty years or so and can't bear to part with because I can still see the pound signs dangling over them, and end up putting up a pair that don't quite go with the rest of the room.

Currently, therefore, the living room has a biscuit coloured carpet, a buff coloured sofa, blue throws, blue and cream cushions, beige walls, a multi-shaded rug of red and burgundy curtains. It all hangs together in a vague way, but it's starting to feel irritating to those of us who notice these things.

'That'll be you. then,' says Andy, because he's not bothered about the finer points of interior design but then he is a fan of Doctor Who. (Have you see the Tardis lately????)

And anyway, NONE of the above goes with my lovely new cerise 'n' lilac wisteria wallpaper from Laura Ashley, so basically it all has to be changed. By Monday. Well, the paint at least.

Now, I realise slapping either cerise or lilac on the walls to match the flowers on the wallpaper would be a BAD and OPPRESSIVE error of decorating judgement, so instead I am looking to the delicate hints of leaf that are etched behind the flowers, and toying with the notion of green. Also, my friend Sarah suggested this would be a good idea so if it all goes wrong at least I can blame her!

Off I trotted during my lunch break, then, to B & Q to pick up a selection of paint charts. And back home, with a cup of tea and the paint charts and wallpaper spread upon the floor I set about narrowing down the choice of shades of green. There are many. Some are obviously too vomit-inducing to be considered and I would imagine are more the sartorial choice of 8 year old boys who think bogeys are hilarious. Some are too dark - it would be like living inside a cave. Some are too light - a hint of green? Where, exactly?

And annoyingly not one of the greens is a dead match for the green on the wallpaper. One is very, very close - it's called 'Mellow Sage' - but I think I'll need to get a sample pot just in case.

I also went into the carpet shop across from B & Q but that all got too much so I beat a hasty retreat and bought a bag of cheese and onion crisps from the snack booth instead.

So, green or not green? Maybe cream instead. But have you seen how many shades of cream there are?? The signs are all pointing towards a very stressy weekend, and I'm glad there's only one more week until half-term because I may just need some 'sit-in-a-dark-room-and-stare' time. The list of 'Just Do It' jobs is growing longer again. I've got to start job-hunting for September, I've got a short story to finish for one writing competition and a novel to finish for another. And don't even mention the allotment, the gardens and the bees...

P'raps black? Hmmm...black sounds nice and comforting. Like oblivion.