Twittering

Number of escapee worms this morning - 2
Number of days the same piece of chewing gun has been stuck to the wall of the changing cubicle I use when I go swimming -43
Number of lengths I swam this morning - 50
Time it took - 34 minutes
Number of cabbage seedlings appearing in the greenhouse - 5 billion
Number of pea seedlings - 1

Then, for a bit of variety...

What is Mrs Pumphrey doing at the moment? - sitting up the top of the garden with her head under her wing, asleep
What is Mrs Miggins doing? - prodding Mrs Pumphrey to make sure her head hasn't actually fallen off
How is 'Indigo Antfarm, Violet and Blue,' coming along? - very well, thank you for asking
What colour dress will I wear when I go to collect my Orange Prize for the above novel? - purple, probably. Or maybe burgundy.

The new thing to do is twitter. Yet another social network tool has appeared. As if Facebook, Beebo and blogging weren't enough, there is now twittering to cope with. Basically, it is a running commentary you post on-line of what you are doing at THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT IN TIME. Or NOW, if I was practising being a more economical writer.

For example, if I was on the Twitter network I would be writing something like -'Started writing my daily blog, Mrs Slocombe is making a heck of a racket in the garden so just off to check situation in case she's being attacked by a polar bear.'

And I would go off and do as I said...

...and then I would write 'Just got back from checking excessive clucking in garden. No polar bears to be seen but collected 4 eggs from nest box', because that is EXACTLY what I've just done.

And then - 'Just had a Jaffa cake. Could have been worse. Could have been a coffee and walnut muffin (saving that for later!)'

Then - 'Thinking of going to Sainsbugs to get something for dinner tonight but wondering if I ought to wait until postman has been in case he tries to deliver my rhubarb crowns and hop bines.'

Now - 'Staring at wet swimming costume that is dripping all over kitchen floor and listening to Tybalt bashing the door of the cupboard under the stairs as he goes in and out, in and out, in and out.'

I don't know about you, but isn't twittering DULL!!!!?????

I mean, I can understand the interest if you were following the twitters of a famous person, for example and you were obsessed with their every movement and need to know exactly what they are doing and when and - oh no, that's called 'stalking', isn't it?

Or I can see its policing purposes as maybe a method of tagging dubious characters - a bit like a cybertag.

But really, blow-by-blow accounts of what your average citizen is up to could make for very wearying reading. (Is 'wearying' a proper word? It looks wrong, but sounds right. Just off to check spelling now.)

So this is my first and last foray into the world of Twitter. I shall go back to writing my blog as I've always done, conveying my world in a more substantial and usefully informative way, with solid observations and opinions that I know thrill and educate those who read them(ahem!).

I wonder what Stephen Fry is up to at the moment...