Happy Days and Bottoms Up!

And so it came to pass that last night Andy performed the bottling ceremony for the Much Malarkey Manor Elderflower Champagne 2009 vintage. After the success of the elderflower cordial, we mounted another dawn raid on the local trees last weekend in order to have a go at making champagne. Did you know you have to order special corks for champagne? We didn't until Andy ordered some corks over the interwebbly and the lady who deals with brewing accoutrements at the company he used telephoned him immediately and inquired did he need them for champagne? Yes, he said. Ah, she said, you've ordered the wrong corks. I'll change your order and refund the difference.

You see, another example of the excellent service one gets from small companies.

The champagne corks and their relevant cages duly arrived within three days of ordering, with 9 pence in coins sellotaped to the invoice. A large vat of champagne was fermenting in the downstairs bathroom. It smelled rather lovely. I thought, maybe there is a sideline in champagne air freshener to be developed here. Bet I could sell it to Harrods. Bottles were washed and put in the oven to dry and sterilise. Andy was doing a lot of pacing. There was something on his mind and it wasn't the concern that the new Doctor Who looks like a Mr Potato Head.

'What's up?' I said. I was concentrating on a telly programme called 'My Body Horror' or something like that, which appeared to be about women who were unhappy with different parts of their bodies. I was being entranced by the woman with cankles and comparing my own calf/ ankle ratio for degrees of cankleness. They were doing fat thighs and varicose veins after the break. I justified this viewing of trash TV in that it's all helpful for my anatomy and physionomy revision.

'I'm a bit concerned about explosions,' said Andy.
'Me too,' I said, because I hate loud noises, especially sudden ones.
'From the champagne,' he said, in case I started talking about explosions of a totally irrelevant nature.
'But you've got the right corks and the right cages,' I said.
'I have,' he said, 'but I think the bottles might not be quite the right shape for the cages to grip onto.'

We discussed the best storage options for the champagne, post-bottling, to avoid potential explosion fall-out. Worst case scenarios were played out, like corks flying out of bottle necks at speed and concussing passing cats or breaking windows, or champagne being sprayed around the kitchen leaving a sticky mess that we'd be clearing up for the next five years.

In the end, Andy decided that the best option would be to cork the bottles then place the bottles back inside the brewing bucket and replace the lid and put the whole shebang in the bath. And close the bathroom door. Tightly.

'I'm sure they'll be fine,' I said.

'I'm not so sure,' said Andy.

And he was right to be cautious. This morning, 2 of the 9 bottles had popped their corks and cages and the brewing bucket was filled with much, much gas. But it smelled nice. And I'm sure the other 7 bottles will be fine and as it has to be drunk within the next 3 weeks, perhaps it's best there are only 7 bottles to get through instead of 9.

And today is supposed to be the Happiest Day of the Year. There is some equation involved which I won't go into because in my book Maths has never equalled happiness. So far, today has been quite happy. The sun is shining, I've listened to Round the Horne and laughed. I've played 'fetch' with Pandora Trumper Trousers and laughed, and Andy is having a week's holiday from tomorrow which is always cause for celebration. In half an hour I am going to walk to the allotment to do the watering and pick some strawberries, and then I shall come home and then go out to Sainsbugs to get some weekend shopping . Heather is coming home for a few days to do some lurking now that her lurking skills have been officially recognised. We are going to Stratford on Monday. Mrs Miggins was looking a bit droopy yesterday and I was thinking, 'Oh, oh, what now?' but she is much better today, so I expect it was just wind.

And this afternoon I shall do some writing, bake a cake and watch the final of 'The Biggest Loser.'

Happy Days indeed!