Monday, 28 February 2011

Vagueness

So Andy says to me last week, all casual-like whilst leaning against a door-jamb in a nonchalant kind of way, 'What would you do if all you could see through your right eye was a big green disc of light?'

And I said, 'I'd go straight to the optician and sit and wait until they could check my vision.'

And then I said, 'Are you telling me, in a roundabout, vague kind of way, that all you can see out of your right eye is a big green disc of light?'

And he said, 'Yes.'

After establishing that Andy hadn't been staring at a light bulb or the sun (ha! fat chance with all the rain we had last week), that he hadn't poked himself in the eye with a green felt-tip pen, and that a detached retina was possible, but unlikely and that the fear of detached retina was based on a TV programme we'd watched the previous evening, we went into town where I deposited Andy at an optician and he sat and waited for an emergency appointment whilst I went to do the weekly shop at Sainsbugs and fret about all manner of eye diseases.

Well, it turns out that the optician is almost definitely positively certain that Andy has developed a condition called central serous retinopathy, which involves a fluid bulge developing behind the retina, thus distorting vision. She is referring him for a second opinion just to make sure, but having come home and gone Google-mad for information because it sounded like something that might make your eye go pop, it seems likely she is right in her diagnosis.

What is the treatment? None.
What is the prognosis? Condition usual rights itself in around 8 weeks.
Will it happen again? Possibly. Or possibly not.
Does it affect every day functioning? No.
Can it cause long-term damage? Possibly. Possibly not.
Is it linked to high blood pressure and stress? Probably. Or not

It all seems a bit vague to me.

Anyway, Andy is being very stoical about all this. But I do catch him wandering around the house doing massive squinty faces, like he's some kind of deranged pirate who's lost his eye-patch. He says he is testing out if the big green disc is getting smaller. I think he's playing at being a pirate. In fact, I might make him an eye-patch. A padded one with lavender sewn inside to help alleviate the stress factor.

News on Nearly King Jimbo. We are going to make it available as a Kindle download. Cheap as chips. Might get a bigger audience. Might not. It's all very vague.

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