Coffee schmoffee

I admit I haven't been mown down by a toddler pushing a dolly pushchair lately which is a blessing given how busy town is at the moment with people not buying anything but there seems to be a new 'Extreme High Street' sport on the increase and that is people walking around clutching paper cups of coffee - 'Drink 'n' Shop'.

What's all that about then?

Yesterday, on my way home from sewing class (I have now completed a skirt and am awaiting the first comment of 'Oooh, where did you buy your lovely skirt?' I fear I may be waiting a long time.) I noticed three on-the-jog-coffee drinkers and quite frankly, I'm appalled. That's what coffee shops are there for, you morons! Star 'extort mega' Bucks, Cafe Nerd, Costa Lotta Coffee, the town is full of these places. What you do is go in, buy a coffee, sit and drink it, get up and continue on your journey. Simple pimple!

You know who I'm going to blame, don't you? Yes. America! We're adopting a culture of 'Oooh, look at me I'm so busy I have to drink my coffee on the run,' culture based on what cetain thicko Brits perceive as American life based on their copious viewing of the American Sitcom.

'Hey Bud!'
'Hey Chip! How ya doin?'
'Well, you know. Gotta run. Meeting, ball game, therapist, attorney,cookies, therapist, love ya, gotta go blah, blah, blah.....'
'Coffee to go?'
'You bet. Skinny latte, espresso hot shot, heavy on the rye, light on the mayo.'
'There ya go, Chip! Have a nice day splashing scalding hot liquid over other shoppers in the Yuletide rush!'
'Sure will, Bud!'
'See ya, Chip!'
'Wouldn't want ta be ya, Bud!'

Ha! It isn't necessary to carry boiling hot liquids around whilst you shop. Even with those silly plastic lids on the cups that don't fit, with the stupid little sip holes in the top that EVERYONE knows don't work. And most of all, it isn't English. Mind you, coffee drinking isn't English. Afternoon tea and cake is English. In a nice tea shop with proper tables and chairs and teapots and cups and saucers where you can sit and spend a half an hour with your nearest and dearest, chewing over life and generally being civilised.

So there you go. Coffee drinking on the go - bad. The other day they were discussing on the radio the demise in popularity of the 'traditional Christmas turkey.' Turkey isn't traditional English Christmas fayre - turkey is American. Get a goose if you want tradition at Christmas. Or beef.

Today's blog was brought to you by 'Xenophobics Unanonymous.' I'm off to see my therapist....