As you can see from the picture on the right we have had visitor number 1 to our embryonic bee garden. It was a big fat bumble bee which very obligingly flew by the willow tree this morning as we were heading out the front door. It stopped and posed like a true celebrity as Andy and I leapt around with our mobile phones taking pictures.
'Look!' I squealed. 'A bee on our bee friendly tree!'
'Yes,' said Andy. He didn't sound that excited but I suppose when you've spent your life living with a bee in your ear, the novelty of bees can wear a bit thin.
'We've provided a bee with its breakfast!' I squealed.
'I'd have preferred a couple of sausages and a fried egg,' said the bee.
'How exciting is that!' I squeal again (you get the idea now that I'm v.excited by this sudden bee activity.)
'Because I've been hibernating all winter and to be honest, a bit of willow pollen is hardly going to fill the gap, is it?' said the bee.
'I need to get the other plants in,' I said to Andy. 'Start building up the borders.'
'So if you're going to be providing a new B & B service for us bees,' said the bee, 'can I suggest you have a look at your menu? Did you notice the cunning word play on the letter 'b', by the way?'
'I'll plant the lavender and foxgloves tomorrow,' I say.
'Sod lavender and foxgloves,' said the bee. 'Listen will you? Crumpets, that's what we want. Or muffins. Something nice and stodgy to fuel us up after the winter. Or toast. Toast is good. But no Marmite.'
'And I'll get the lupin and hollyhock seeds in,' I continue. 'I know it says on the packet not to plant them until April but I can bring on the seedlings in the 'conservatory, now I've cleared the decks and have got some inside growing space.'
'Or black pudding,' said the bee. 'Bees don't like black pudding. And if you're going to do a full English, make sure the bacon isn't too crispy and that you double up on the fried slice.'
I skip off down the path, happy with the bee pictures we've captured.
'Oi!' shouted the bee. 'I haven't finished with you yet. We haven't discussed tog ratings for the duvets or the morning paper service.'
'Did you hear something?' I asked.
'Only the bee in my ear,' said Andy.
I'm not sure i want bees that don't like marmite (yum yum) or black pudding (double yum yum)in my garden.
ReplyDeleteHow does one tell, and is there some sort of immigration check point that you can set up on the back gate to ensure that bees that don't pass the black pudding or marmite test get turned away.
That is assuming that they come in via the back gate and dont try coming in over the walls.