Gonzo's New Frock

Well, I've done it. I've actually turned Andy's fabulous Christmas pictures, featuring chickens in famous carols, into Christmas cards. It wasn't so much a creative process, more the adding of Christmas tat in the form of some red and silver sparkly ribbon, some silver snow flakes and a silver star. But it was all very traumatic.

I spent what seemed like hours in a craft shop, mooching around trying to be decisive about how the cards were going to look. It was a miracle I finally decided on a colour theme and stuck to it, despite my predeliction for all things rainbow-like. Up and down the aisles I paced. My biggest hurdle was that there was too much choice. Also, I'd been up in the loft that morning to retrieve the Christmas decorations and decided that Gonzo, our Christmas tree fairy, needed a new frock as the one he's currently wearing is four years old now and looking rather faded and tatty. So I needed to get fabric for that, too.

Gonzo, as you may know if you are an ardent Muppet fan, is blue. Therefore, dressing him in pink is out of the question. I had already decided that I'd stick to white and silver, which always looks nice with blue. But I'd also decided to divest Gonzo of his current trousers and knitted tank top which he was currently wearing 'neath his fairy outfit. They were causing some unsightly bulges, I thought. We were aiming for a more sleek look this year.

Of course, all fairy frocks have skirts made from netting so they stick out all perky, like a tutu. All I wanted was a scrap of white netting. Every colour under the sun was presented to me, but not white. Could I get away with a pale lilac, I thought? Would it make him look 'too cold?' Am I really wasting some of my life standing in a shop agonising over how to make a new dress for a Muppet who sits on top of our Christmas tree every year?

Eventually, after much burrowing in the fabric section where I was glared at by a shop assistant for ruffling her display, I discovered some white tu-tu netting. Phew! Crisis averted. I teamed the netting with some white felt with a silver star motif, and some white maribou feather trim.

Back home, I tried to wrestle Gonzo from his tank top, which was very reluctant to be pulled over his nose. It was, as they say in fashion terms, a snug fit. The trousers proved to be more problematic, as they were actually sewn into Gonzo around his tummy area, so I had to manage a very tricky operation whereby I cut away the tiny stitches holding the trousers on and his tummy together at the same time as resewing his tummy together again to stop all the beans bursting from his innards. I never realised beans were the staple diet of a Muppet, but I guess it explains Gonzo's ability to propel himself across vast spaces, often without the use of a cannon.

Once Gonzo was nude, save for his shoes which weren't coming off for anyone, I set about making his new frock. I was a little surprised to discover that under his trousers, he was going commando, so I made a long underskirt to cover his nether regions. I toyed with making Muppet pants, but sometimes there ARE more important things to do with one's time.

Skirt completed, I tried various arrangements of maribou feather around his top half, ably assisted by Pandora who thinks playing with a giant furry worm is great larks. I settled on a Playtex bra 'Cross Your Heart' effect, with trailing train. Very nice.

And now all I need to do is make him a new set of wings, wand and halo and he is fit to go.

The cards are ready to be posted. I just hope they don't disintegrate in the post.