Big Bangs and Invisibility

A couple of nights ago there was a loud bang, somewhere in or around the vicinity of Much Malarkey Manor. And because I was being entranced by the smiles my grand-daughter was directing directly at me, yes me, her Granny, like she was saying 'Hello Granny! I know who you are...smile, smile!', and Andy was being entranced by a jammy flapjack, the bang went uninvestigated. I think we both figured that as no car/bus/lorry/ yob in low slung joggy bottoms had come bursting through the front wall of the house, then we were, as a little family community, safe for the time being.

Later, after grand-daughter had gone home and jammy flapjack had been consumed, Andy went to investigate the source of the bang.
'It's okay,' he said. 'It was the lid blowing off the dandelion wine brew. I've cleaned the resultant mushed raisin concoction from the bathroom walls as best I can.'

Yes, it's that time of year again, when the bath is decommissioned as a place of private ablution and becomes a place for storing barrels of fermenting alcoholic beverage. Dandelion wine this year. Andy is also keeping an eye on the imminent emergence of local elderflower as he is determined to have another shot at elderflower champagne, only this time he says he won't add extra yeast.

Meanwhile, I've been infected by a touch of invisibility this week. Twice I have nearly been runover. Five times, adults at work have asked me a question, or engaged me in conversation and then walked off mid-response or mid-sentence, leaving me open-mouthed and looking a bit idiotic, like I'm Cary Grant talking to Harvey, the Invisible Rabbit. Hundreds of times I've been ignored in the class whilst I am trying to teach, by children who have far more important things to discuss, like what's on telly tonight, or who said what about whom (the bitch).

Which got me a bit worried. Not about the who said what about whom, because teenagers these days always seem more interested in interfering in business that doesn't concern them, rather than interfering in business that does concern them like gaining good skills in the English language. I wasn't even concerned about my near-death pedestrian versus maniac-in-a-car experiences because God knows I am way to busy to be summoned to Heaven just as this moment. No, it was the invisibility to adults thing that bothered me. I mean, do I need to work on my personality? Am I that boring that people have to wander off mid-conversation for fear of falling into a Denise-induced coma?

I thought, but they started the conversations. They asked me a question. Surely, SURELY, they should finish what they started? But no. Apparently not. One of the worst experiences was when I was dumped, and yes I do mean dumped, with five interviewees one break time. I avoided showing my displeasure at having my lesson prep time disrupted (break times don't mean tea and a biscuit to me - they mean trying to get ahead for the next lesson), and became hostess with the mostest, sorting out coffee, and asking how their interview day had gone so far. And in the middle of me talking to one of the younger applicants about the lesson she had just taught as part of the interview process, she actually GOT OUT HER MOBILE PHONE AND STARTED TEXTING!!!

I thought, I'll just stop talking then, shall I? I'd hate to interrupt your texting frenzy with my clearly banal interest in your fledgling teaching career. But what I really wanted to do was slap the mobile from her hand (and probably stomp on it for good measure) and tell her how rude she was being.

Ah well. It's all down to manners, I suppose. I was taught to listen to someone when they were talking to me, to show interest no matter how boring or irrelevant the subject matter might be. If I was reading, I was to put down my book and pay attention. One did not interrupt, especially if the person you were talking to was older. Oh, what was it called? Ah, that's right - social interaction!

Mind you, they teach social skills in schools these days. Which is sad in some ways. But not so surprising in many others.