Stairway to Henven

So Andy spent yesterday after crafting a genuine artisan, rustic- type ladder for the new chicken penthouse.

'There,' he said, placing it against the platform upon which the Eglu pod is now perched, I mean, securely attached. 'Now all we need to do is get the girls used to going up and down it. What does Hugh F-W say about the issue of enticing chickens up ladders?'

'He says,' I said, because I have consulted Hugh's book upon the matter, 'that it might take them a week to get used to using the ladder, that we might need to physically place them up on the platform each night for a few days and that food is a good bribery tool. And that Mrs Miggins said that appropriate food will be hors d'oeuvres or those little French fancy cakes.'

'Mrs Miggins can think again,' said Andy, and he scattered some layers pellets up the ladder. He looked around the grounds of Cluckinghen Palace. 'Now, what I need is a decoy.'

He spied Mrs Miggins. 'Come on, Miggo,' he said, 'you can be the pioneer ladder climber.'

So he caught Miggins, who is the tamest and most catcheable, and placed her on top of the platform. Mrs Miggins stood there, looking down. Then she looked at the Eglu. Then she went inside the Eglu. Clucked a bit. Realised she wasn't going to suffer from altitude sickness (nose bleeds, dizziness, oxygen deprivation etc), and came out again to admire the view.

By this time, Mrs Pumphrey had appeared at the bottom of the ladder.
'What are you doing up there?' she called.
'He put me up here,' said Mrs Miggins. 'Him. Over there. The one with handfuls of splinters gleaned from crafting a chicken ladder.'
'Waste of time if you ask me,' said Mrs Pumphrey, and in one vertical take-off leap, jumped straight onto the platform, by-passing the ladder. She stood and admired the view.
'It's taller up here, isn't it?' she said.
'Yes,' said Miggins.
'And Mrs Slocombe looks somehow smaller,' said Pumphrey.
'That'll be perspective,' said Mrs Miggins, who did GCSE Art at evening school.

Within twenty minutes all three hens had jumped up and down from the platform several times. The ladder was roundly ignored. Miggins and Pumphrey had both made one attempt each to walk down the ladder, but when that attempt had resulted in something akin to the extreme sport of ladder skidding/ surfing they went back to jumping.

'I think they'll be okay going to bed tonight,' I said. 'We clearly have highly intelligent hens.'
'Hmmmm...' said Andy.

So, as night fell, we ventured into the garden to check that the hens were safely installed in the pod. The hens were safely installed under the platform against what remained of the eucalyptus stump.

'Good grief,' said Andy. He went into the run, picked up Miggins and put her on the platform. Into the pod she went. Mrs Pumphrey soon followed. Mrs Slocombe looked confused, but then she is mad. Then she flung herself onto the platform and she, too, retired for the evening.

And today they jumped down from the platform, and at some point all three of them jumped back up to lay eggs because there were three eggs in the nest box when we checked on our return from Bee-Keeping Part 4.

A week to get used to the change? Ha! What does Hugh know? Week-smeek!

Additional news 1)- Bee-Keeping Part 4 went very well today. No bee handling, because it was hissing it down with rain, but much interesting learning took place.
Additional news 2) Grand-daughter Kayleigh pooped on my trouser leg last night and it went right through the fabric and turned my leg a funny shade of yellow. Pretty impressive for a not-quite seven week old, I reckon. She is also doing little smiles which is enough to make a Granny's heart melt.
Additional news 3) - I continue to be 100% vegetarian; Andy is running at about 80% on account of a full-English breakfast times two when he was on a course in Swindon at the beginning of the week. And some sweet and sour chicken balls. But that could just be the way he is sitting.
Additional news 4) - The author would like to know if there is ANYONE OUT THERE? PLEASE??? She is beginning to worry, due to lack of comments for ages, that she is losing her entertaining writing touch. Just wave your hand if you are still reading...