Wild Life

No, I wasn't spending an extra day in school today. Not that kind of wild life. Today, I woke up and said to Andy, 'Let's take Kayleigh to the zoo.'

So we did.

And here are the latest scores for the 'Kayleigh Animal Appreciation' league table:

Gorillas - 9/10. Especially the one who regurgitated some mushy greenery at least three times

Elephants - 6/10. Liked the three babies who had a tug-o-war using their trunks.

Anteaters - 0/10. Noses too long. Tails too pouffey. But Gran liked them enormously and would award them 10/10. Gran is older. Gran knows best. Gran says Kayleigh will learn to appreciate the anteater as she gets older. Kayleigh says anteater, schmanteater.

Tigers - 10/10. Kayleigh says 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

Rhinos - 4/10 when they were way over the other side of the paddock. 7/10 when they trundled up to the viewing end to have some high tea hay.

Bongos - 7/10. For being very orange.

Lemurs - 8/10. For being good ambassadors for the consumption of mucho fruito. And for having a very loud fracas which shows that even lemurs can get crotchety sometimes.

Honey badgers - 6/10. For looking like they were never going to give up making a break for freedom. If only they had a length of rope, a ladder, a spacehopper and set of cunning disguises.

Buffalo - There were buffalo? Yes, there were buffalo. They were a long way away. They were sitting down. They weren't going to entertain anyone today. No way. Too hot.

Wolves - 5/10. Gran gave them 2/10. She has been wolf-phobic since childhood.

Wild boar - 10/10. For having weird ears and a nice white stripe down the middle of their backs. And for looking like they'd be able to control a class of bonkers Year 8s with a single tusk.

And the award for Kayleigh's favourite creature du jour? The squirrel that ran across our path carrying a nut as we went through the deer park

I know. You pay a small fortune to get into a wildlife extravaganza when you could have paid nothing and gone to the local park.

But all adds to the many educational, life-enhancing experiences we hope Kayleigh is going to have.