Renovations Day One

Up early this morning to finish clearing out the bathroom ready for Dave the Plumber to set to and work his magic. Andy had made an initial assault on it yesterday whilst I made what turned out to be a reckless sunny Sunday visit to the local garden centre Christmas decoration department with a small child aka Kayleigh, who insisted on being in charge of the shopping basket. Think small child with no spatial awareness + basket nearly as big as small child + artistically placed displays of delicate glass-type decorations + crowds of people = not my best idea of the year.

But we did get to see some real reindeer. That was exciting. Ish.

Anyway, got home, blood pressure slightly raised, to find old bathroom cabinet, bathroom shelving, towel ring, blind and towel rail flung on the gravel outside the front door, ready for a tip visitation. Storage cupboard was moved downstairs to second bathroom (thank goodness we have two bathrooms - we'd be stuffed otherwise), assorted bottles, loo rolls, cleaning equipment etc etc were crammed into every available space.

I was gently mocked by a certain person whose name rhymes with Handy because I insisted on cleaning the bathroom before Dave the Plumber arrived. Well, I'm jolly glad I did because I got home this evening to find the remains of our old bathroom - loo, basin, shower cubicle etc etc - on public display in the driveway. At least I can still hold my head high amongst the neighbours for having a pristine pan.

I ventured into the upstairs bathroom to see progress so far.

It looks like...well, like a....er...um....a derelict building site. It's very empty. There are bits of wall falling off..er... the wall. A wooden floor has been revealed. A wooden floor in a bathroom? Good grief. Actually, it all looks a bit grim. I think I might have to leave it for a few days before I make any further visits.

Anyway, I don't know how long this whole malarkey will take. I am hoping I shall be able to adopt an air of serenity that will mean most of the dust, debris and chaos will waft over me like a serene and wafty thing, and in, what, a couple of weeks we'll have a lovely new shower room and the journey leading to its finish will seem nothing but a distant nightmare, I mean, memory.

I might distract myself by shopping for a bouffant luxury fluffy mat for the floor. Or some new bouffant luxury bath towels. Or a nice pot plant that will appreciate the whole steamy atmosphere. It might be a bouffant pot plant. Can one get bouffant pot plants?

'We need an accent colour,' I said to Andy.

'A what?' he said.

'Well, the room will be black and white. It'll need a spot of colour to lift it,' I said, going all Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen on him.

'I have no idea of what you are speaking,' said Andy.

So that'll be me choosing the accent colour then.

I'm thinking cerise. Or a jade green. Or purple. I like purple.

As you know.