Saturday, 6 November 2010

Knock at the Door

Finally I have bought a doormat to put atop the new wood floor in the hallway in order to save me from having to kneel atop the new wood floor to clean off the wet mud malarkey that gets wiped atop the new wood floor every time people enter the front door with their November weather feet and have no mat to wipe them upon.

But they do now! Aha!

Yesterday, a big gruff police officer knocked at the door. Actually, I thought he was breaking down the door, so firmly did he knock - me and the cats fair jumped from our skins. But I guess that's what police officers do in order to make their presence felt.

Anyway, the reason for his visit was the re-appearance of the big black lorry outside the front of the house. You remember the big black lorry? The one that caused me much angst earlier this year because it was THERE outside the window IN MY FACE being an EYESORE and making a RACKET at all ungodly hours and BLOCKING the drive and the road and GETTING ON EVERYONE'S NERVES?? So me and the neighbours waged a war against its presence by reporting it to VOSA, the council, the DVLA and the police because it didn't have a tax disc, and, it turned out no insurance either. And parking our cars on the road so it couldn't. It got a bit petty, all the car shuffling, but was ultimately very satisfying when the lorry appeared in the afternoons and had to drive away because there was nowhere for it to park.

Well, after eight months of lorry-free bliss, it pitched up again. I could have cried when I opened the curtains on Friday morning and there it was, in my face again. My neighbour across the road appeared and said he had already reported it to the police because it had nearly run him over when it arrived the night before. And did I know that the reason it was back was because the owner had just been released from prison. Again. And did I know it didn't have a tax disc.

Aaarggghhhh!!! So in order to off-set a potential nervous breakdown, I said to Andy that if the lorry was back for good then could we install vertical blinds in the front bay window so I wouldn't be able to see the effing thing. And possibly install some wooden fencing atop the front brick wall to make it 7 feet high?

And Andy, who is very understanding of my irrational, middle aged and menopausal moments said yes, of course we could.

And then the police officer arrived. Did we know who the lorry belonged to, said he. I told him all I knew and said how much it aggravated me and the neighbours being there. I thought it prudent not to mention I really wanted to take a sledgehammer to the windscreen and/ or fill the back of it with cat poo. The police officer said that unfortunately, although it was an eyesore, it wasn't causing an obstruction (well, I'd like to see a fire engine get past it into the road), but he noticed it didn't have a tax disc, so leave it with him, he'd make enquiries and see what he could do. And six hours later, it had gone.

And I hope it stays away. For the sake of my fragile sanity and the windscreen.

The doormat looks nice, though.

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