Wednesday, 3 August 2011

You May Have Noticed...

...that yesterday I was feeling quite narksome with the world. So much so that I have created a new word - 'narksome' - in order to describe the feeling of 'WHY IS THE WORLD CONSPIRING 'GAINST ME?? WHY, WHY, WHY???? (wails, stamps feet, beats bosom, howls at the moon, tries to resist urge to comfort eat and fails dismally).

But today I feel better and I have been getting on with the task of dealing with the list of narksome stresses.

So far I have a) engaged the services of someone to sort out bees in roof b) engaged someone to take away dead piano c) found a reliable sort of chap to deal with loose roof tiles and boiler.

I have contacted, and am awaiting reply from, someone to sort out dodgy bathroom window.

I have found a possible and affordable wedding venue - a WINDMILL! How cool would that be? Literally!!

I have stood in back garden and conversed with the chickens using very mild expletives regarding the constant banging and drilling coming from next-door-but-one that continues today.
'Mild expletives?' says Mrs Slocombe. 'My Great Uncle Norbert the Naughty Navvy would have been proud and slightly pink of cheek to hear what Denise said this morning.'

My letter of appointment was apparently 'written yesterday' and 'should arrive by the end of the week'. But I shall believe that one when I see it.

I have been helped in this sudden burst of grabbing-the-problems-by-their-horns-and-staring-them-in-their-beady-eyes by the arrival in my life (via lovely Andy who is ever sensitive to my needs) of a Kindle! I have already downloaded for free 'Northanger Abbey' by Jane Austen which is highly entertaining, and I have a list of other books I intend to get (mostly for free) this afternoon. I'm also listening to an adaptation of 'Cold Comfort Farm' on Radio 4 Extra, which is one of my favourite books and, consequently, am thinking that no matter how bad things get, Aunt Ada Doom and her 'something nasty in the woodshed' will probably always be worse off than me, especially as we don't have a woodshed for anything nasty to hide in.

I have also decided to abandon Capt. Corelli and his Banjomandoukele.

And so I continue onwards and upwards, like some mad Revolutionary from a tear-jerking French novel. It's Wednesday, Mr Mybug is in equal mad pursuit of Flora, Mrs Pumphrey is back in lay, there's a vast quantity of apples that need picking from the tree in the back garden and it's just about cool enough today to bake a cake.

Plan 'Get on With Your Life You Miserable Bat and Stop Whinging' is back on track!


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