1) Never put Marmite in your eye - it really hurts.
2) Your average teenager will never understand why Shakespeare is so great
3) It's okay to ignore a lesson observation carried out by a PE teacher, especially when they send you an e-mail feedback entitled 'leson obsevation'
4) Chickens resent snow and can melt it with a single stare from their gimlet eye
5) TV really doesn't matter any more.
6) Bottom set Year 10s have an uncanny knack for interpreting poetry
7) Embroidering a koala takes two evenings and a lot of squinting...
8)...so p'raps it's time to have my eyes tested again
9)'Life's too short' occurences happen in groups of three, very quickly, so why don't we move to Hereford NOW!?
10) A full rubbish bin-on-wheels does not provide sufficient counterweight to prevent one sliding down an icy drive way in a wild and dangerous fashion
11) Eating too many frozen raspberries can cause tummy upset
12) Sticking to a diet in Winter is impossible, therefore I have made a law against it
13) Typing whilst eating a hot cross bun makes your keyboard sticky
14) God sometimes makes you do things you really don't want to do, but you'll only get nagged if you resist so best get on and do them if only for a quiet life
15) Potties come in some very stupid designs these days
16) Sometimes one is spoiled for choice e.g Laura Ashley flowery wallpaper for the decorating of one's arty-crafty writing room
17) Cat mug or bee mug? Sometimes the decision is difficult
18) Not only can I touch my toes without bending my knees, I can now touch the floor!
19) You can never escape the lure of doing another course with the Open University
20) Data is NOT the answer to successful education
And one thing I didn't learn...
...any Italian. I really must get on with my teach-yourself course before it becomes laden with dust.
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