Sunday, 20 May 2012

Not to be Recommended Combinations

On looking out of my upstairs classroom window which has a fine view of the playground, I saw a squirrel remove a half-chewed Cheese String from a waste bin and, on trying to run off with it, was accosted by a pigeon. Squirrel and pigeon engaged in Cheese String tug-o-war. I can't imagine the gastronomic meeting of a Cheese String with the digestive system of either a squirrel or a pigeon is a recommended combination, but it was very funny to watch. The squirrel won.

On thinking, 'Hmmmm...raspberries and garlic? I wonder....' I am now able to confirm from personal experience that this is definitely a not-to-be-recommended combination.

On taking Kayleigh on an outing to a Home and Country Fayre yesterday and meeting a labrador-size stuffed toy dog pedalling a remote control tricycle that stopped in its pedalling to talk to small children, and Kayleigh's reaction being to squeal in terror and fret about 'the doggie on the bicycle' for the next half an hour - this is not a recommended combination. I don't think psychotherapy will be needed - a tub of strawberry icecream seemed to do the trick of calming the nerves.

On being asked 'You know the English exam next week? Is it a real one?' by a Year 11 from my bottom set after I have spent the last month wittering parrot-fashion 'Your GCSE exam is happening very soon....your GCSE exam is happening very soon....' perhaps me and teaching is fast becoming an unrecommended combination, for my sanity if nothing else. In response to the aforesaid question, I rolled my eyes (a lot), sighed (even more) and  refrained from shouting, 'YES IT IT YOUR REAL EXAM YOU MORON HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?????' (but only just.)

On the recent theory of eating chocolate can equal weight loss - BAD COMBINATION. You'll remember I mentioned trialling this theory last month? Trust me, it's a stupid theory. But tasted nice whilst it lasted.

On Phoebe and Tybalt trying to share the snuggly den space in the bottom of their new cat house - not recommended unless you want a kitchen full of cat spit and fur.

On the connecting of human flesh with the metal of a blow torch after blow torch has been used for a good twenty minutes to clean off some bee-hive bits and bobs - unrecommended. Ask Andy, He'll tell you. He knows all about it. Blisters and all.

But one definitely recommended combination I DID discover yesterday at the Home and Country Fayre is Cheddar Cheese and Ginger! Lovely!!


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