Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Signs of...

...Spring - pink buds appearing on the magnolia tree, cowslips appearing in the borders, green leaves on the willow arch ('Primrose! Daisy! Stop eating the signs of Spring on the willow arch. They might be delicious, but they are signs of Spring so stop it!)...

...exasperation - Darren: Guess why I didn't come to that coursework catch-up session you arranged especially for me in the Easter holidays, Miss.
Me: Why, Darren?
Darren: I had a hangover - I was well sick with it.
Me: Will you ever learn?
Darren: Nah....did the same the following week...
Me: You useless Muppet.

...booky excitement - e-mail from World Book Night organisers saying my books to give away are ready for collection NOW!...

... appreciation - from an A level student I abandoned when I left my last school at Christmas and who sent me his coursework essay to cast a professional eye over at the weekend - 'Thanks, ma'am! You really got me out of a hole. I'd never have got this level of help at school.' That's okay, Laurence - just remember me when you are rich and famous.

...weariness - at a Year 10 girl who appeared in a class I am teaching temporarily, screeching like a banshee and swearing like a navvy. She spent the entire hour trying to elicit a reaction from me with a series of increasingly appalling behaviours. I ignored her and taught the others in the class instead. What I wanted to say was, 'Look, sweetheart - I've heard it all and seen it all a million times before. When you can do something truly original that I haven't seen or heard in a classroom before, like appearing dressed a carrot and playing a trumpet using the cheeks that aren't on your face, then you might get the reaction you crave. And even then it will rely on me not feeling like a tired and crotchety old witch.' But I didn't. Because like I said, I ignored her.

...steamy excitement! No, not THAT kind of steamy excitement. The kind of steamy excitement that comes with the delivery of a new steam cleaner! Oooh, it does everything with its mops and crevice tools and brushes and steam. I especially liked the bit when I was doing the kitchen floor and I disappeared under a cloud of steam like someone appearing in 'Stars in Their Eyes.' Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be...ALL OF ABBA!

...writing - I read on a writing website yesterday that if you are a proper writer, you will write and not make excuses like, 'I can't write tonight because I am watching telly/ going out with my mates/ cleaning the fridge condenser/ making custard/ polishing my moolies.' This man said that if you are using such excuses, then you are not a writer. Which leaves me a dilemma - it's The Great British Sewing Bee on telly tonight, and I like watching it. But I shouldn't because I should be writing. But hey, I am writing NOW!! And have been for well over an hour and a half. And an enormous bumblebee just flew past the window, so maybe that is a sign that I can stop writing for just an hour and watch a programme about a sewing bee! Tenuous, but it could just work...

...that Pandora's special new diet is working - she hasn't yakked up for over a month now and is starting to put on a teeny bit of weight. And she bit me when I got home from work, which is always a good sign that she is feeling chipper...

...signing off - me saying 'BYEEEEE!!!' Right now!

3 comments:

rusty duck said...

It's all going swimmingly! Excellent!

Pheasants like signs of spring too. They like them a lot..

Vera said...

Okay, so envy your steam cleaner and can I borrow it to 'do' my floors if I promise to get it back by tea time.

Spring is fully sprung here as of two days ago.

I am also a person who should write but find that other things take precedence sometimes. Might be something to do with being a woman, that we have to multi-task, and that if I was a man I would be totally focussed on writing because men can only focus on one thing at a time, which makes it easier for them to be writers.

Love the Sewing Bee programme as well, after coming across it accidentally on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. Inspires me to keep sewing, and hope it inspires others. Trouble is, that the programme has also wetted my appetite for increasing my stash of material, so am online shopping for fabrics now!

Denise said...

Knitted beak mufflers! That's what we need, Jessica. Flipping birds!

Of course you can borrow the steam cleaner, Vera. Not only does it clean without the aid of chemicals, it also gives one a free sauna! Hope you had a happy few hours stash hunting and I think if us women are to write properly we need wives! X