Thursday, 30 May 2013


'Is it me,' says Daisy, as she takes her morning constitutional, stopping only to deposit her customary pile o'poop 'neath the willow arch, 'or has our garden area shrunk overnight? Is it the rain, do you think?'
Primrose is still in the pod atop the nest. She shouts, 'Gardens don't shrink in the rain. If anything, they grow bigger because the plants react to the sudden burst of watering and sprout upwards and outwards ever so quickly.'
'Perhaps we're in a sort of reverse Tardis,' says Daisy.
'I can't hear you,' shouts Primrose. 'Wait until I've popped out this egg and I'll come and investigate.'

Egg duly laid, Primrose appears and surveys the garden. It is, as Daisy says, looking considerably smaller than it did the previous day. Primrose knows this because usually it takes her 6.3 seconds to leg it, high speed, from one end to t'other, and today it takes her a mere 4.2 seconds and she can't stop quickly enough as the perimeter fast approaches, and thus ends up with her head stuck in the fence netting.

Once Daisy has stopped laughing, she offers a helping wing to extricate Primrose.
'I can manage, thank you,' says Primrose, a tad coldly Daisy thinks, because it was a very funny thing to happen and has brightened her day considerably. 

'What do you think of my reverse Tardis theory?' says Daisy.
'I think it is ridiculous,' says Primrose, 'mostly because I can see exactly what has happened. Our fence has been moved.'
'But why?' says Daisy, who is a big girl and if she had her way would take over the entire garden and half the local park, too.
Primrose shrugs. 'No idea,' she says.
'Why?' wails Daisy, who is beginning to feel a tad claustrophobic.'Why, oh why, oh WHY,WHY, WHYYYYYY????'

'What are you shouting about?' says the Lady of the Manor (that'd be moi), emerging from the back door in her polka dot jim-jams, hair in a fetching hairnet and covered in rejuvenating cold cream (me, not the hairnet. Or the jim-jams.)

'What's happened to our fence?' Daisy continues to wail. 'What, what, WHAT? WHY?HOW???'
'Shall I slap her beak?' offers Primrose. 'I'm not sure how much hysteria I can cope with this early in the morning.'
'That won't be necessary,' says I. 'Andy moved your fence because we are having a new fence put up along one side of the garden today, and your run will be in the way of the builders. You need to be constrained for a couple of days.'

Daisy immediately stops wailing. 'Two days?' she says.
'That's all,' I say.
'Builders in the garden?' says Daisy.
'Indeed,' I say.
'Ah well,' says Daisy. 'That makes all the difference.' And she vanishes into the pod.

'She took that well,' observes Primrose.
'Indeed,' I say.

Almost immediately, Daisy emerges from the pod along with a deckchair, a footstool, a large thermos flask, a tiffin box, a pair of binoculars and a massive umbrella.

'Oh, oh,' says Primrose, as we survey Daisy setting up what can only be described as a viewing area.
'She's going to sit and watch fence building all day, isn't she?' says I.
'Looks like it,' says Primrose.
'I have to go to work today,' I say. 'Revision classes. So I am trusting you to keep an eye on her. Phone immediately if she starts any inappropriate behaviour.'
'I know,' says Primrose. 'Wolf whistling, winking and goosing the builders will not be tolerated.'
'Quite right,' says I.

Today, we had a new fence built. It looks fabulous! 

Daisy enjoyed the day enormously.


rusty duck said...

Great story!
Obviously Primrose and Daisy did an excellent job of supervising the fence builders.

Denise said...

They are out there again today, supervising the patio building! And the builders are feeding them worms they are digging up from the foundations. I suspect I am no longer the hens' best friend!