Saturday, 8 June 2013

Gardening Tips

1) NEVER leave the four clematis you purchased a couple of weeks ago in close proximity to each other. They will become over-familiar with each others' tendrils and, unlike naughty dogs, no amount of chucking water over them will encourage them to extract each other from each others' company.Only  gentle teasing will do that, and that's easier said than done in a high wind.

2) If you plant only two courgette seeds because let's face it, the produce from two courgette plants is more than enough for the needs of a small family, neither of the seeds will germinate. If, however, you sow six courgette seeds 'just in case' all six will pop up. It'll all end in tears by September, mark my words.

3) DO NOT drop a large, full of old compost ceramic pot on your foot. It will hurt. Any listening hens will pick up some very unsavoury language. 

4) Lemon Balm spreads like weeds. But it smells delicious! 

5) Even though Spring might be late, everything in the garden catches up in the end. Except the honeysuckle. Honeysuckle is never intimidated by the weather. Honeysuckle will always be ahead of everything. Especially the height of the fence.

6) The annual attempt to murder the buddleia has failed. Again.

7) Having a new patio laid makes the garden look twice as big as it did before. Estimated time of completion - next Thursday. Unless it rains a lot. Or snows. Which it might. 

8) if you find a newt in your garden whilst weeding (which I did), you are allowed to call it Tiny. Because it was very, very small.

9) You CAN have too many plastic pots. Be ruthless. Chuck some of 'em out. This will please the hubbie who has been saying things like, 'Do you think we've got too many plastic pots?' (P.S if you wake up at 3 am in a pot famine frenzy you can always sneak 'em back into the greenhouse again.) 

10) Make cake to go with post-gardening tea and relaxation.Somehow these things go together.

6 comments:

rusty duck said...

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slug see Apophallation (under Reproduction). I don't quite remember how I came by this today, but I did.

2. It's exactly the same with cucumbers.

3. They will have heard it all before.

6. Buddleia grows on railway embankments and motorways. It is unmurderable.

9. However many plastic pots you have, none of them will be the right size when you need one.

Denise said...

3. Sometimes I think I've learnt everything I know from them!

Eileen said...

Luckily I only got one clematis...the problem is it's wound itself all round itself and is being stubborn about NOT growing up the trellis!

I'm a container hoarder too. While there are "only" 28 in the yard this year, there is at least 1/2 again that many waiting in the potting shed. Maybe this is the year I'll let some of them go....or not.

The best part of gardening is definitely the sitting out and enjoying it. Enjoy!

Denise said...

Hello Eileen! Hope you are well.

Well, I bought 4 clematis and one of them was to replace one out the front of the house which I thought had died, but then surprised me by sprouting where all hope was apparently lost! Still, I put a companion next to it - just in case. Asking for trouble really, because next year I suspect there will be one massive ball of tangledness!

Countryside Tales said...

I've been trying to find your blog after reading your comments on Jessica's which have made me laugh. Now I've found you the pressure is really on! CT x

Denise said...

I am braced and ready - and it is good to connect with a fellow healer!