Middle-aged things I have done this month

1) Bought a membership to the National Trust. Free binoculars - woohoo!

2) Bought a membership to Dobbies Gardening Club - two free teas/coffees every month - woohoo again!

3) Watched SpringWatch on BBC 2 and rooted for the jackdaw babies that were constantly being threatened in their nest box.

4) Planted a lot of salad leaves because...

5) ...spotted my increasing matronly bosom in the mirror and have decided something needs to be done about it. So started a new blog as a record - get-a-grip-now.blogspot.co.uk/

6) Made puffing noises when I stood up (ditto number 5 above).

7) Decided to buy a classic car.

8) Paid three bills in the Post Office rather than over the Internet.

9) Switched off Radio 4 Breakfast because John Humphries was being too shouty.

10) Thought how nice it would be to go back to primary school.

And regarding Number 8, I have to relate a further middle-aged rant that occurred on the same day. As I was going to the Post Office, I thought I'd take some bits 'n' pieces I had gathered together to the charity shop. Four not insubstantial bags' worth to be precise. So I parked up and carried these four bags half a mileish to the British Heart Foundation because it was nearest to the Post Office. And by the time I got to the shop the bag handles were cutting into my hands and I was puffing a bit and thinking I would be jolly pleased to get rid of these bags, thank you very much.

However, I discovered that the shop didn't open until 9.30 and I had arrived at 9.25. I mean, what sort of shop opens at 9.30? Not like the olden days when shops opened at 9, when people wanted them to be open, especially people on their way to Post Offices.

 So I stood on the pavement, and peered through the shop door and therewithin stood two ladies. Just standing there. Doing nothing. And they saw me, standing there on the pavement, toting four heavy bags of charitable donations, on the point of developing bleeding palms where the handles were chopping into my flesh.

And did they dash to the door and open it and offer to take the bags? Even though I was there five minutes before opening time? Because that would be what I would do. Like in the older days when shop assistants were helpful. Did they heck! They just stood and watched me, because I was five minutes early and there was NO WAY they were opening that door a minute before 9.30.

Well, I stood there for a couple of minutes, and just as they looked like they were heading for the door, I turned on my heels and marched my four bags of donations all the way down the other end of the High Street to the PDSA shop, where they were accepted with a smile and a cheery demeanour by a young man in a bobble hat. 

Sheer cussedness on my part, I know, but I don't care. It was another middle-aged thing I did this week.