Saturday, 28 September 2013

Bits of Stuff

Generally, I like to write a blog post focused on a main theme, like work, or cake, or yet another of my ridiculous 'Grand Plans For The Future.' (This time last year, for example, saw Andy and I travelling from Kent to North Wales and back in a single day to view a house that we had taken a fancy to. Complete whimsical madness, the house being a dark and gloomy overpriced wreck, but for me, at least, it proved that I do not want to live in North Wales, especially up on the side of a very steep hill in a house with no water supply apart from 'what we can catch in the tank when it rains.' Which, in North Wales, is quite a lot.)

But this week, I have had nothing themic to write about. Absolutely nothing. It has all been a bit, well, odds and sodsy.

It has been a crazy-mad busy week. Lots of work at school, plus Ofsted appeared, which was nice (!), and this had the effect of putting everyone on edge for two and a half days and then producing and eating lots of homemade cake on the day post-inspection. I also rescued an enormous spider from the disabled toilet. The toilet, I hasten to add, was not disabled by the size of the spider. I was almost disabled by the size of the spider in a manner of being frozen with fear, but I couldn't back down as I was being watched during the rescue by several interested parties, so I just opened a can of 'Toughen Up' and hoped the spider wouldn't suddenly lunge at me and send me screaming up the corridor.

Also, I have received a flurry of Post Crossing cards, which was lovely. One came in an envelope, complete with two sides of a closely typed A4 letter telling me all about the life of the sender a la Christmas Round Robin style. I feel duty bound to reply, and then I thought, 'I could write a silly Christmas Round Robin for the Malarkey card this year - you know, saying things like, 'February saw Andy and I in Antarctica, testing out our Lycra camouflage body stockings amongst the penguin population. Spent three days under arrest in the local constabulary for indecent exposure of cellulite, but all turned out well because it transpired the Deputy Constable went to school with Andy's Great-Aunt Philomena. What larks!'

On Thursday evening I partook of my annual attempt at buddleiacide. Time will tell if I have, yet again, failed.

And this morning? Well, Andy has just walked past me announcing he is 'going into the garden to do something useful.' He is carrying a large mallet. I am staying indoors. Just for the time being.

And I have also decided to learn how to crochet. I can knit, I can sew, I can make cards, I can bake, I can even cover a baked bean can in sticky backed plastic and call it a pen-holder, but even though I have tried several times over the years, I just cannot grasp crocheting. My Gran tried to teach me when I was a child, but even she gave up in exasperation. Yet I have recently discovered the world of the Craft Magazine, and there are several lovely projects that involve crocheting, and I woke this morning thinking , I MUST learnt to crochet. I have changed my magazine focus away from things like Good Housekeeping and Woman and Home and Country Living towards publications that are more useful in my latest 'Grand Plan For the Future' which is 'Make A Hobby Into A Career.' Plus, craft magazines don't scare you with health living and pension articles. Apart from occasional warnings not to hold pins in your mouth in case you inhale them and puncture your lungs.

So, the sun is shining here in Kent. The local park is gearing up to host a weekend festival thingy, which will involve a lot of loud music and local resident parking issues and no doubt give me plenty of fodder for a themed blog entitled 'Angry' come Monday. Washing is drying on the line because I am up to date with housework, hurrah, and it is only ten of the clock. There is a new series of Strictly, to ease me carefully into the darkening evenings and stave off the effects of S.A.D for a couple of months. Flora Bijou Mybug is almost 10 weeks old and continues to grow apace in tooth and claw, and to annoy the older cats with her rambunctious joie de vivre and 'Isn't everything such FUN when you are a kitten?' approach to even the most mundane activities. 

And now I am going to venture into the garden to check up on mallet-wielding Andy, and then I am going to find a crochet hook and an appropriate You-Tube tutorial, then hopefully get sidetracked by elevenses before any atrocities with wool are committed.


Countryside Tales said...

Crocheting MUST be easy peasy because I can do it. I was taught by a friend while manning a craft stall over a few short hours two years ago, so if I can do it you, with your superior Knitting Knowledge And Abilities, will certainly prosper. It really isn't hard and You Tube has some great tutorials :-)
PS- Glad you are alright. Ofsted could
so easily be a swear-word in its own right!

olly said...

Good luck with the crochet - once you get the hang of it it'll seem really easy, I promise. I LOVE the can of 'Toughen Up' - every girl should have one in her handbag, I feel. I'm just not sure where I left mine.

rusty duck said...

They should do tests for S.A.D at the Devon border. It is Eeyore's gloomy place here and has been all day. I think we get even more rain than Wales.

What was Andy doing with the mallet (you can plead the fifth..) ?

Denise said...

Well, I have had a go at crocheting, and I can do a chain stitch to get started and I can sort of do the double crochet to make the rows. It has been a tense and tetchy three hours, and I've looked at several interwebbly tutorials because some of them were, quite frankly, befuddling, but I have achieved more this afternoon than in the past almost 48 years! Your cheers from the sidelines, CT and Olly, shall spur me on, and prevent me from stabbing anyone with my crochet hook!

Olly, I keep my can of Toughen Up next to my aerosol of Jog On and my box of Suck It Up, Princess. Maybe yours is in the same place, what with us being astral twins and all!

Jessica, the mallet was used in the making of willow fencing, which now adorns the edges of the lavender bed in the back garden! My battle with giant willow aphids, wasps and hornets did not go to waste! And I hope you get a spot o' sunshine tomorrow - it is still too early in the year to suffer with SAD. It is a long time until February, which is when mine usually abates.

Vera said...

Crocheting! Wow! Well done! Prefer crochet over knitting because it grows quicker than knitting. Hope it keeps SAD away for you this year. I don't suffer so much with it here, but when I lived in the UK I did. Happy crocheting!!

Janice said...

Put me out of my misery! What on earth does buddleiacide mean?

Denise said...

I know, Vera. Who would have it, eh? I mean about the crocheting, not the SAD! My first crochet attempts are rather feeble, but I think I am getting the hang of the basic stitch and I am becoming less wool-tangled. It can only get better!

Hi Janice! Buddleiacide is my annual attempt to murder the buddleia shrub in our back garden. It is very pretty, and it is good for butterflies and bees, but it is VERY determined and very prolific. Every year I commit serious ( and I mean serious) pruning upon it, hence my made up expression 'buddleiacide' - and yet each year it comes back with grim determination. Secretly, I am in awe of its persistence. I really ought to learn something from its survival techniques!