Christmas Poem!

A Naughty Christmas Ode For Veg Growers Everywhere

Christmas comes but once a year

And brings a glorious meal

With all its component, intrinsic parts;

and I'll tell you the dining deal.

Oh it's not the heft of the turkey

Or the pud with the brandy butter

Nor the roundness or size of your Brussel sprouts

- No! It's the length of your parsnip that matters.

You can get away with limp carrots,

And stuffing all crispy and burnt

Red cabbage can wilt, and Stilton can melt

And gravy with lumps won't hurt

Oh it's not the number of sausages

Wrapped in bacon and done to a shrivel

Nor the firmness of Brussels growing all year round

No! It's the length of your parsnip that's vital!

Crackers may crack and candles may flicker,

Real custard takes time but instant is quicker,

Gingerbread houses impress all who see,

Mince pies taste good with a pot of strong tea.

But it's not all the sweetness and chocolates,

The nibbles and nuts and cheeses,

Nor the bite of your Brussels that matter at all,

No! It's the length of your parsnip that teases.

So if you're growing veg for Christmas,

That most important dinner

Forget the sprouts, they matter not

Just make your parsnip longer and thicker!