Well, I say nothing. I still spent 5 hours today marking baseline assessments for Years 7 and 8, during which I was thinking, 'Exactly how more baseline are these going to get?' and, 'Have you never heard of full stops/ capital letters/ dictionaries?'
Other than that, and having a massive house clean yesterday morning in preparation for house viewings that aren't occurring, I have done very little. Still, a tidy house always cheers me up so it was worth the elbow grease for that reason alone. I had planned to do some writing. I had planned to do some sewing. But the truth is that I have a non-functioning brain at the moment regarding anything creative. I am still fretting about work, and every time I try to distract myself with activities other than cleaning and staring at the TV, my mind drifts back to school. It is not good.
In contrast, Andy has been enormously productive. He has been cooking and baking. He has made some spectacular loaves of bread, and some delicious soup and cheesey onion soda bread, and a very scrummy quiche. He also made a moussaka for dinner. I am almost forgetting how to cook.
And Heather went out this morning to buy her first car! She passed her driving test about six or seven years ago, and she is now, finally, the owner of a black Ford Ka. She also starts a new job tomorrow, having been poached by a department within the company for which she currently works. And she has also taken to walking around the house dressed in a hoodie. This causes Andy and I a huge amount of amusement as we get to shout, 'Hoodie in da house!' every time we see her. She is being very patient with us at the moment, but I suspect the patience may run out soon because basically we don't know when to stop. I am suspecting that very soon we shall be treated to a withering stare and told 'for goodness sake, grow up.'
And that's about it. Not so much a Much Malarkey Weekend; more a Not Much Malarkey Weekend. First day of October tomorrow. It's getting cold. Pandora Kitten has started demanding lap space in the mornings which is a sure fire indicator that Winter is on the way. The willow arch has dropped most of its leaves. Andy has requested I construct my birthday list for 2012. I've struggled with that because all I want is a couple of books. I toyed with requesting a couple of bantam hens, but we're supposed to be waiting until the house move until we chicken-up again.
Back to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, but I'm taking it one day at a time and there were Christmas cards in Sainsbugs on Friday, so the end of the year and my teaching career can't be that far away.
Whatever you do this week, make it a happy do!
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Anxiety
It's been a horrible week at school. We've been subject to a pretend Ofsted. And I have gone from being graded as outstanding to having notice to improve. How can that be? How can my standards have dropped so dramatically in the space of two months?
The answer, of course, is that they haven't. And I know this but it doesn't stop me thinking that suddenly I am a rubbish teacher.
This is the devil in teaching. You are constantly under scrutiny. You are constantly having to justify your professionalism to everyone - senior management, parents, students. You are constantly being bombarded with new initiatives, the latest being 'collaborative planning' which basically means teachers like me who are conscientious and organised pick up the slack for those who are lazy and counting the hours until they can go home. You are constantly being given more and more things to do and no time in which to do them. You are denied lunch breaks and tea breaks. You find yourself working longer hours every week just to try and keep afloat, let alone make progress.
For the last week we have been required to hand our lesson plans in to senior management every morning, because they don't trust us to be professional. The plan has to be on a specific planning sheet. Each plan takes me 20 minutes to complete in full, which adds another hour and twenty minutes to my work load each day. And this is the worst bit. We have been told that everyone in the department must comply for a whole week. And if we don't all comply, if someone refuses, then we all have to carry on until everyone does as they are told.
Yes, folks, there is someone in the department who is refusing to comply. And whilst he refuses, the rest of us must suffer. It's like keeping the whole class in for detention because one kid is being naughty.
And so I came home from school yesterday and I cried. A lot. I can't do this any more. I don't want to do this any more. I'm not going to do this any more. I am going to resign. I am going to find something else to.
Perhaps I was never meant to be a teacher in the first place. You know the saying - 'Those who can't, teach.'
Well, I would add that those who can't teach become Ofsted inspectors.
And some how they think it's okay to demean a perfectly good teacher until that teacher feels so bad about how their job is making their life a misery that they decide to leave the profession. It's not just me. Read any related teaching websites and you'll see this happening all over the country.
I thought the Much Malarkey Manor Adventure was going to be the house sale and move (and finally our agent has put a For Sale board in the front garden - it's only taken them 4 weeks to arrange this but then it is hand carved from rare mahogany and inlaid with precious jade and diamonds).
But it seems the Adventure extends to another aspect of my life. The Career. The Job. The Putting Money in the Bank to Pay the Bills.
Ah well. If you're going to have stress you might as well get it all over and done with in one happy bundle!
The answer, of course, is that they haven't. And I know this but it doesn't stop me thinking that suddenly I am a rubbish teacher.
This is the devil in teaching. You are constantly under scrutiny. You are constantly having to justify your professionalism to everyone - senior management, parents, students. You are constantly being bombarded with new initiatives, the latest being 'collaborative planning' which basically means teachers like me who are conscientious and organised pick up the slack for those who are lazy and counting the hours until they can go home. You are constantly being given more and more things to do and no time in which to do them. You are denied lunch breaks and tea breaks. You find yourself working longer hours every week just to try and keep afloat, let alone make progress.
For the last week we have been required to hand our lesson plans in to senior management every morning, because they don't trust us to be professional. The plan has to be on a specific planning sheet. Each plan takes me 20 minutes to complete in full, which adds another hour and twenty minutes to my work load each day. And this is the worst bit. We have been told that everyone in the department must comply for a whole week. And if we don't all comply, if someone refuses, then we all have to carry on until everyone does as they are told.
Yes, folks, there is someone in the department who is refusing to comply. And whilst he refuses, the rest of us must suffer. It's like keeping the whole class in for detention because one kid is being naughty.
And so I came home from school yesterday and I cried. A lot. I can't do this any more. I don't want to do this any more. I'm not going to do this any more. I am going to resign. I am going to find something else to.
Perhaps I was never meant to be a teacher in the first place. You know the saying - 'Those who can't, teach.'
Well, I would add that those who can't teach become Ofsted inspectors.
And some how they think it's okay to demean a perfectly good teacher until that teacher feels so bad about how their job is making their life a misery that they decide to leave the profession. It's not just me. Read any related teaching websites and you'll see this happening all over the country.
I thought the Much Malarkey Manor Adventure was going to be the house sale and move (and finally our agent has put a For Sale board in the front garden - it's only taken them 4 weeks to arrange this but then it is hand carved from rare mahogany and inlaid with precious jade and diamonds).
But it seems the Adventure extends to another aspect of my life. The Career. The Job. The Putting Money in the Bank to Pay the Bills.
Ah well. If you're going to have stress you might as well get it all over and done with in one happy bundle!
Monday, 24 September 2012
Desperately Seeking Silver Linings
Blundering downstairs at 6 a.m I tread in a pile of cat sick at the bottom of the stairs. Could have been worse - could have been cat poo.
Arriving at work I had to deal with a PP aka Pushy Parent. It's difficult telling a mother that her off spring isn't the creative genius they think they are. Could have been worse - could have been a PP who actually HAD a creative genius for a child.
Playground duty in hissing rain. Could have been worse - could have been hissing rain and crashing thunder and lightning and my brolly could have been struck with 500 volts and I could have ended up a shrivelled pile of ashes.
Estate agent called. Our buyers have had their mortgage application rejected.
We are back on the market.
Silver lining? Hmmm...
...well, we spent over £100 going to and from Wales at the weekend, but at least I have discovered that I don't think Wales is the right place for us, and going by our rule of 'We must both agree on a place for us to move to,' that means we needn't waste any more time looking for a house in Wales...
... and we can carry on paying more off the mortgage whilst we wait for another buyer...
...and we can go on more leisurely visits around the country to scope out places to live (Lincolnshire and Cambridgeshire next)....
...and we hadn't got around to filling in the enormous sellers' pack from the solicitors, so we have saved time doing that and can now shop around for a cheaper solicitor...
...and the estate agent is going to have to do a bit more work for their fee...
...and we didn't fall in love with the house over the weekend so we won't feel we've missed out on it by suddenly not having a buyer...
...and...and...and...
...no, that's it. I do not have it within me to summon up any more silver linings to this horrid cloud that has blotted our horizon. We are feeling deflated. Not quite back to the beginning, but feeling a bit like we have.
Ah well. That's clouds.
Arriving at work I had to deal with a PP aka Pushy Parent. It's difficult telling a mother that her off spring isn't the creative genius they think they are. Could have been worse - could have been a PP who actually HAD a creative genius for a child.
Playground duty in hissing rain. Could have been worse - could have been hissing rain and crashing thunder and lightning and my brolly could have been struck with 500 volts and I could have ended up a shrivelled pile of ashes.
Estate agent called. Our buyers have had their mortgage application rejected.
We are back on the market.
Silver lining? Hmmm...
...well, we spent over £100 going to and from Wales at the weekend, but at least I have discovered that I don't think Wales is the right place for us, and going by our rule of 'We must both agree on a place for us to move to,' that means we needn't waste any more time looking for a house in Wales...
... and we can carry on paying more off the mortgage whilst we wait for another buyer...
...and we can go on more leisurely visits around the country to scope out places to live (Lincolnshire and Cambridgeshire next)....
...and we hadn't got around to filling in the enormous sellers' pack from the solicitors, so we have saved time doing that and can now shop around for a cheaper solicitor...
...and the estate agent is going to have to do a bit more work for their fee...
...and we didn't fall in love with the house over the weekend so we won't feel we've missed out on it by suddenly not having a buyer...
...and...and...and...
...no, that's it. I do not have it within me to summon up any more silver linings to this horrid cloud that has blotted our horizon. We are feeling deflated. Not quite back to the beginning, but feeling a bit like we have.
Ah well. That's clouds.
Sunday, 23 September 2012
There and Back
There and back to North Wales from Kent in one day.
Beautiful countryside. Stunning views. Peace and quiet.
A mini-adventure indeed.
Of course, the danger of being so certain about something, of building hopes up high, is that when you realise you are wrong, it takes a bit of recovering, a bit of tending wounds, of nursing self - doubt.
Recovering is what we are doing today.
Is the house for us? It turns out, then, that no it is not...
...but we went because it called to us. We took a chance. We've never been that crazy before. We did something new.
Back to square one? Not quite. We've taken the first step of our next journey. We've tested our resilience. We know a little bit more now of what we do and don't want.
The Much Malarkey Manor Adventure continues...
Beautiful countryside. Stunning views. Peace and quiet.
A mini-adventure indeed.
Of course, the danger of being so certain about something, of building hopes up high, is that when you realise you are wrong, it takes a bit of recovering, a bit of tending wounds, of nursing self - doubt.
Recovering is what we are doing today.
Is the house for us? It turns out, then, that no it is not...
...but we went because it called to us. We took a chance. We've never been that crazy before. We did something new.
Back to square one? Not quite. We've taken the first step of our next journey. We've tested our resilience. We know a little bit more now of what we do and don't want.
The Much Malarkey Manor Adventure continues...
Friday, 21 September 2012
Check!
Wellie boots - check!
Umbrellas - check!
Toothbrush and credit card for emergency hotel stop-over - check!
Number One son on cat sitting duty - check!
Promise made to bring back a Welsh dragon for grand-daughter - check!
Spare camera batteries - check!
Camcorder on charge - check! (Camcorder instruction manual - uncheck. Winging the operation of camcorder - check!)
Notebook and pen - check!
Spare pen - check!
Chocolate biscuit supply for car journey - check!
One 'Don't worry Mum, we'll be okay,' phone call - check!
Too excited to sleep -check!
Better had though - long journey ahead...
...double check!
Umbrellas - check!
Toothbrush and credit card for emergency hotel stop-over - check!
Number One son on cat sitting duty - check!
Promise made to bring back a Welsh dragon for grand-daughter - check!
Spare camera batteries - check!
Camcorder on charge - check! (Camcorder instruction manual - uncheck. Winging the operation of camcorder - check!)
Notebook and pen - check!
Spare pen - check!
Chocolate biscuit supply for car journey - check!
One 'Don't worry Mum, we'll be okay,' phone call - check!
Too excited to sleep -check!
Better had though - long journey ahead...
...double check!
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Wee!
Andy the Adventurer has returned from Telford. He is tired. We have been sitting on the sofa together whilst I mark another pile of books, and we have been drinking tea, eating choccie digestives and talking 'house.'
'Of course,' says Andy, all casual-like, 'I reckon that house is going to be ours.'
'Why's that, then?' says I, because only ten minutes ago he had been describing his exploration in the dark and equating it to walking through the forests in Transylvania.
'Because I marked our territory,' he says.
It takes me a moment to realise exactly what he means by 'marking our territory.
'You mean you weed?' I say.
'I was desperate,' says Andy. 'It had been a long drive. I went behind a tree. It was dark.'
'You tiddled beside our rough hillside track?' says I, who hasn't tiddled in the open air since I was eight years old.
'Like I said,' says Andy, 'it had been a long drive.'
Well! There you have it, dear reader. Open air tiddling. Malarkey standards heading towards the gutter already. It'll be feeding chickens in the nude next.
You mark my words!
'Of course,' says Andy, all casual-like, 'I reckon that house is going to be ours.'
'Why's that, then?' says I, because only ten minutes ago he had been describing his exploration in the dark and equating it to walking through the forests in Transylvania.
'Because I marked our territory,' he says.
It takes me a moment to realise exactly what he means by 'marking our territory.
'You mean you weed?' I say.
'I was desperate,' says Andy. 'It had been a long drive. I went behind a tree. It was dark.'
'You tiddled beside our rough hillside track?' says I, who hasn't tiddled in the open air since I was eight years old.
'Like I said,' says Andy, 'it had been a long drive.'
Well! There you have it, dear reader. Open air tiddling. Malarkey standards heading towards the gutter already. It'll be feeding chickens in the nude next.
You mark my words!
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Andy the Adventurer
Andy is on a training course thingy in Telford. He went yesterday and he is back tomorrow.
Well, he is supposed to be in Telford. He has been in Telford all day. But Telford is near North Wales. And Andy has just phoned.
'Are you okay?' I say, because he is huffing and puffing and sounding like he is being chased through some woods by a bear.
'I'm just walking down a hill,' says Adventurer Andy. 'I've just been up a hill, and now I am returning because it has suddenly got dark and there are a lot of trees around, and it's a little bit spooky.'
'Where are you?' I say. I don't need to ask really. I know where he is. I knew being within a reasonable drive of our prospective new house would be too much temptation...
'I'm in Bala!' says Andy. 'And a black cat has just stopped to say hello to me. Is that lucky?'
'Yes,' I say. I don't know if it is or not because I can never remember, but for the sake of the exercise,tonight black cats are lucky.
'What's it like?' I say, because I've had a truly rubbish day at work and if I didn't have to go in tomorrow I wouldn't. I need cheering up.
'It's beautiful,' says Andy. 'The lake is gorgeous, it is so quiet, it's really gorgeous. You'll love it.'
'And the house?' says I.
'I saw the corner of it through the trees,' says Adventurer Andy, who is still puffing a bit, but I think the threat of bear attack has receded. 'But I didn't want to go up to it and peer through the windows in case the tenant thinks I'm a weirdo.'
He describes the drive fromTelford to Bala. He describes the little villages, the moments of driving
between hills and seeing scenery that made him go, 'Wow!' He describes the track leading up to the house; that we shall definitely need a 4 wheel drive car.
'I wish I had waited until Saturday so we could have seen it for the first time together,' he says.
But he is right in his reasoning of taking the opportunity to see the area today. Because if he had gone to see it, and hadn't liked it then there would have been no point in us going back on Saturday. Our new house is a place we both have to like in equal amounts.
We are a partnership. We are in this adventure together. Me and Adventurer Andy.
Well, he is supposed to be in Telford. He has been in Telford all day. But Telford is near North Wales. And Andy has just phoned.
'Are you okay?' I say, because he is huffing and puffing and sounding like he is being chased through some woods by a bear.
'I'm just walking down a hill,' says Adventurer Andy. 'I've just been up a hill, and now I am returning because it has suddenly got dark and there are a lot of trees around, and it's a little bit spooky.'
'Where are you?' I say. I don't need to ask really. I know where he is. I knew being within a reasonable drive of our prospective new house would be too much temptation...
'I'm in Bala!' says Andy. 'And a black cat has just stopped to say hello to me. Is that lucky?'
'Yes,' I say. I don't know if it is or not because I can never remember, but for the sake of the exercise,tonight black cats are lucky.
'What's it like?' I say, because I've had a truly rubbish day at work and if I didn't have to go in tomorrow I wouldn't. I need cheering up.
'It's beautiful,' says Andy. 'The lake is gorgeous, it is so quiet, it's really gorgeous. You'll love it.'
'And the house?' says I.
'I saw the corner of it through the trees,' says Adventurer Andy, who is still puffing a bit, but I think the threat of bear attack has receded. 'But I didn't want to go up to it and peer through the windows in case the tenant thinks I'm a weirdo.'
He describes the drive fromTelford to Bala. He describes the little villages, the moments of driving
between hills and seeing scenery that made him go, 'Wow!' He describes the track leading up to the house; that we shall definitely need a 4 wheel drive car.
'I wish I had waited until Saturday so we could have seen it for the first time together,' he says.
But he is right in his reasoning of taking the opportunity to see the area today. Because if he had gone to see it, and hadn't liked it then there would have been no point in us going back on Saturday. Our new house is a place we both have to like in equal amounts.
We are a partnership. We are in this adventure together. Me and Adventurer Andy.
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