Easter Greetings

It was like locusts on a plain today, round the Easter dinner table. This is not to be confused with Snakes on a Plane, which I understand to be a film, although I've never seen it myself. During the week I was feeling all Ma Larkin so I thought I'd invite 'The Family' around for Easter lunch. By family, I mean my mother, my daughter, my son and his girlfriend and of course, my hubbie. Not that I need to invite hubbie around because he lives here already, what with it being his house too, along with half the wardrobe space. Look, what I'm trying to say is that there were six of us for lunch. (I've had a lot of milk chocolate today, okay? My blood sugar is haywire, I have lost the power of simple thought.)

So I thought, what shall I feed them? I wandered around Sainsbugs picking stuff up and putting it back on the shelves. Eventually, I decided on a free-range chicken and a piece of beef, which I assume was also free-range, what with cows being big and everything and not good at being confined to hen houses. I did roast potatoes, Cumberland chipolatas, roast parsnips, broccoli. carrots, peas and gravy. For pudding I made a proper trifle (none of your make-it-from-a-box-kit in this house, oh no. Bananas in the custard and everything) and, as an after-thought, an apple crumble. I decorated the table settings with little chocolate bunnies, eggs and lollipops.

'That's bound to be enough,' I thought, as I juggled various roasting tins and dishes through my wholly inadequate oven space.

By the time everyone had finished, all that remained was a chicken drumstick, a blob of beef and a two inch square piece of apple crumble.

Chris decided to go outside to visit the chickens in Cluckinghen Palace.
'Have they had any treats today?' he asked. Treats, I thought? I can't afford to give them treats, not after what you lot have just eaten. We're going to be living off cheap beans on toast for the rest of the week as it is.
'They had the apple peelings from the crumble,' I said. 'You can give them some corn if you like.'

So off he trolled with a pot of corn. The chickens eyed him with suspicion. Actually, all animals regard Chris with suspicion; this has been the case since he was a small child. I don't know why. Maybe he gives off strange vibes in animal kingdom land. Anyway, the chickens were having none of it and there was much loud clucking as they tried to escape his advances.

When he emerged from the run with the bowl of corn still full, I called through the window for him to throw it into the bark chipping area so the hens could root around for it in their own time. Now, the run is made from willow trellis with holes at least two inches square. And corn is, well, about 1 sixteenth of an inch square. Or oblong. Somehow Chris managed to miss the willow trellis holes completely and the majority of the corn bounced back and landed outside the run. The chickens looked at him with disdain. Maybe they were right to regard him with suspicion.

Andy bought me 'Take Thats' latest CD for an Easter present. I am very pleased with this gift as I have decided I very much like 'Take That' now they've grown up a bit. I think I was a bit too old for them when they famous first time round. They shall be my 'dance around the kitchen' choice for the next few weeks.

And as I sit here on the sofa, feeling very, very full of a very nice Easter lunch, and very happy that all those I love shared that lunch with me, I am thinking, maybe I should start training to run a marathon.

I'll put that thought down to the massive sugar rush brought on by too much chocolate. Don't worry, it'll be gone tomorrow.

I hope...