Pens and grease and bread and jem

Pandora has three favourite things. Until last night, she had only two (and I am leaving aside all food related items as they would be far too many to list - she has very eclectic tastes for a cat.)
Her first favourite things are:-

1) Pens. Pandora is quite kleptomanic when it comes to pens. I reckon she must have a collection of at least two dozen under the fridge already. She likes hunting pens, juggling with pens, killing pens, rolling around on the floor with pens and chewing pens. In fact, should you ever come to Much Malarkey Manor and ask to borrow a pen, I should advise you VERY strongly to avoid chewing the pen top as you think about what you are writing (if you are wont to indulge in this habit.) I know where all those pen tops have been and unless you are partial to kitten spit, you should keep your mouth tightly clamped.

2) Wrestling with Tybalt. This is how it goes. Pandora meets Tybalt in the hall (they like wrestling on the hall rug for some reason). Tybalt will adopt a superior stance and try and ignore the presence of irritating kitten. Pandora will, very slowly, reach out a paw and place it carefully slap bang in the middle of Tybalt's forehead, like she is bestowing some kind of kitten blessing. Tybalt will stare at Pandora and then wrap both his paws around her neck, whence Pandora will tip herself upside down and attach herself via her teeth to Tybalt's neck. Tybalt will then engage Pandora's head in a half-Nelson and body slam her onto the rug where Pandora will paddle her back feet against Tybalt, bashing his head with quick little kicks until they both fall onto the rug in a big cat/kitten ball. All achieved in perfect silence and without an unsheathed claw.

And then yesterday afternoon, as I was lolloping on the sofa, succumbing to my inner turmoil and channel hopping, I happened upon the film 'Grease.' A bit of nostalgia is a good way to cure inner turmoil, or at least dull the effect, so I thought I'd watch the rest of the film. At this point, Sandie was letting down the entire female race by singing 'Hopelessly Devoted to You,' and dropping a love letter in a paddling pool and had yet to reach the point where she has to dress as a tart to get her man. (Andy pointed out it seemed unfair that the only compromise Danny makes to get his girl is to don a cardie. I'd never thought of this before, but Andy is quite right! Shame on you, John Travolta!) And then Pandora happened to walk past the telly. And she stopped, stared at the screen and was totally transfixed for the rest of the film! Totally weird! She sat on the table where the telly is and kept patting the screen. She got VERY excited during 'You're the One That I Want,' then wandered off only when Sandy and Danny were flying off in their car a la Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

'It's my favourite film' said Pandora. 'You might have told me it was on.'

This morning I did a big downstairs housework session. And then I made some jem. (Which is the kind of jam the Queen would have). It was blackberry and apple jem. I followed the instructions carefully and after the 10-12 minute rolling boil I tested for set, having placed a saucer in the fridge a couple of hours earlier for that very purpose. However, the jem wasn't setting. Andy was home from work by this point.

'The jam smells great,' he said.
'It's not setting!' I screeched. 'And it's not jam. It's posh. It's jem.'
'It doesn't matter if it doesn't set,' said Andy. 'I'll eat it in a hollowed out bread roll if I have to.'

Well, it mattered to me, so I returned the jem to the boil and let it bubble away to within an inch of its life. And eventually it set.

I also made some bread which had no trouble setting. Like a rock.