I get no kick from champagne...

...but codeine-based painkillers and a couple of doughnuts do it for me every time!

My cough/cold/tonsillitis/bubonic plague seems to be working its way out though my right ear. My right ear feels like it has a spikey golf ball imbedded within. I am rendered deaf on that side. Paracetemol is no longer working. I have graduated to paracetemol WITH codeine. Which is marvellous! Especially when taken with one of the raspberry jam doughnuts Andy brought home from work with him today.

I went out for a walk this morning. I thought, a bit of fresh air will blow away the germs. Unfortunately, the air was very fresh and blew into my ear. This was not good. So whilst I was in town buying a Valentine card for Andy, a birthday card for Heather and a birthday card for my Mum, I visited Boots and stoked up on opiate based pain killers.

The lady behind the counter (you have to ask for these painkillers, you can't just help yourself) said, 'Have you ever taken these before?'
I said, 'Yes, about 4 years ago when I was having problems with a naughty back tooth.'
'Ah,' she said, 'only if you've never taken these before, you might be allergic to them. '
'But I have taken them before,' I said. 'And I'm not allergic to them.
'That was 4 years ago,' said the woman. 'Four years is a long time. People change.'

And then she looked at me a bit enigmatically.

I thought, do I know you?

'Yes,' I said. 'Four years is a long time. But I found them very effective and I want something that will be effective with an earache.'
'Oh yes,' said the woman. 'Earache is very nasty. Both ears, is it?'
'Just the right one,' I said. Just give me the painkillers, I thought.

She waved the packet at me.

'You musn't take these with any other paracetemol based painkillers,' she said.
Is that because they have paracetemol in them, I thought.
'Because these have paracetemol in them,' she said.
Thought so, I thought.
'And you musn't take them for more than THREE days,' she said. She said THREE very loudly, and held up three fingers of the hand that wasn't the hand that was holding my painkillers. 'Because they can be HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.'
Because of the codeine, I thought.
'Because of the CODEINE,' she said.

There you go, I thought.

'Please read the instructions before you take them,' she said, as I wrestled the packet from her hand. 'Do you have a Boots card?'

Honestly, I thought, as I left Boots and marched into the cold February air. There's no chance of me ever becoming a drug addict, not if I have to go through people like her first.

But when I got home, do you know what I did? I took a couple of paracetemol with codeine.

And I didn't read the instructions until AFTER I'd swallowed them AND eaten my doughnut!