Strum-along-a-Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day!

There has been much broo-ha-ha on the local news about Valentine's Day, following a decision by a local primary school to ban the giving of Valentine's cards. 'Any cards found in the school will be confiscated,' said the bitter Head Teacher, who had clearly suffered a lifetime of ill-effects from being by-passed for Valentine's attention when he was a child.

Well, so was I. But it's one of those things you just get over, isn't it? Like not passing your driving test first time, or being beaten by Debbie Wells in the 100 metres front crawl, even though your style was clearly superior to hers. It might bother you at the time, but in hindsight it's not such a big deal and it teaches you that life isn't always fair, and has pockets of disappointment, and it's no good getting all miserable and moody because eventually you will meet a fab man like Andy and all romantic disppointments of the past will pale into nothingness 'gainst the richness of love with which you are blessed today.

Well, that's what I think.

So Andy tackled Valentine's Day in the traditional manner this year and lucky me received a bottle of my favourite Chanel 19 (whose expense made it a no-no purchase when I stopped working), a red enamel and silver heart pendant on a silver chain from my favourite jewellery retailer, Pia, and a box of chocolate caramel hearts. There were also three balloon hearts.

'There were twelve in the packet,' said Andy. 'But I ran out of puff after three.'

And what did I get Andy?

A ukelele!

On opening his gift (which included a ukelele case and two 'How to Play the Ukelele' books), Andy gave me a bit of a confused look. I could tell he was secretly delighted at the ingenuity and originality of my gift to him, yet slightly bemused at the thought processes that brought me thus hither.

I had a fit of giggles as I tried to explain myself. 'I thought it was a good idea,' I said between guffaws. 'I thought, he'll never guess what this is. It was a moment of divine inspiration. It was either a ukelele or Lego.'
'I thought it was a metronome,' admitted Andy. 'When I saw the shape of the box.'
'Why would I buy you a metronome?' I said.

He gave me a look that said, 'why would you buy me a ukelele?'

Anyway, the air this morning has been twinging with the twangs of a newbie ukelele player, as Andy has grappled with tuning and attempting basic chords and a rendition of 'By the Rivers of Babylon.' I'm not sure the rivers of Babylon would have resounded with the sounds of a ukelele, but you never know. I'm expecting a rendition of 'Lady Come Down' a la Colin Firth in 'The Importance of Being Earnest' by Christmas.

I had a moment when I thought 'have I made an error of enormous ukelele proportions by giving this particular object as a gift?'

But Andy is very pleased with it, now he's got over the shock and sheer randomness.

And he especially likes the case.

'I could pretend I'm a gangster,' he said.
'Or that you have a violin,' I suggested.
'Isn't that what gangsters carry around with them?' said Andy. 'Their cases are violin shaped, after all.'
'I think their violin cases are more likely to contain machine guns,' I said.
'I'd never get a machine gun in my ukelele case,' said Andy.
'Probably not,' I said.

And outside, the daylight arrived before 7 a.m (which has lifted my spirits no end because it means longer days are on the way) and Mrs Slocombe was kicking off loudly because Mrs Miggins was laying an egg. And inside, my ear was now crackling and popping which a friend who is more experienced in ear infection than I informs me is a good sign, and that my ear is now refilling with air rather than goo.

And Chris and Leane came round for dinner last night, looking happy and ready for the arrival of their baby (3 weeks to go), and all is starting to feel right with the world.

Happy Valentine's Day!