Thursday, 1 May 2014

Discoveries

This week the following discoveries have been made:

1) that new babies are actually 20% baby and 80% poo

2) that you can't climb Mount Everest in a single morning and come back down by train. This discovery was made by a student who wrote about it in a mock exam paper, handed it in and then realised, too late, that he was in fact thinking of Mount Snowdon. Still, made me laugh.

3) new big sisters who insist on helping with nappy changes suddenly change their minds when they see what is actually involved (I refer you to point 1, m'lud.)

4) some of Pan's People in the 1970s had fairly sizeable a*ses. Most comforting.

5) some people are confused by the meanings of the words 'geezer' (bloke) and Giza (pyramids) resulting in more entertaining reading for the mock exam marker aka moi.

6) some people (like, well, my son Christopher) find out that the lady cat he sent to the vet's for spaying today turned out to be a boy cat in need of castrating. Cheaper though. Luckily, the cat is called Darcy so is probably the least confused of everyone.

7) you have to fill out a Customs form to send a lavender bag to Texas. You have to describe it AND declare its weight. I am expecting arrest by the FBI any moment now. Especially as I included a flower fairy mouse, too. 

8) allow a couple of bluebells to stay in your garden and a few years down the line you will have a veritable bluebell forest! 

9) chickens really aren't that keen on swings.

10) kittens called Flora Bijou Mybug who cover their faces in lily pollen will not necessarily become poisoned but they will throw their vet owner into a frenzy resulting in a trip to the surgery for emergency blood test. And they will walk around with an orange-stained nose until their face has been thoroughly scrubbed. The kitten, not the vet.

4 comments:

Vera said...

You started my day off well by giving me a chuckle.

Denise said...

Well, for that I am glad! It is nice to be a chuckle-maker. Hope your day goes well. It is VERY cold and wet here. I had to wear my COAT yesterday! My COAT!!!

Countryside Tales said...

I've been away this week so missed the happy news- congratulations, so pleased all is well :-)

Denise said...

Thank you! Elizabeth is rather marvellous!