Crop rotation

Our crop rotation at the allotment for the last 2 years has been a bit 'random' to say the least so this year I intend to make a proper plan on paper and stick to it, especially now we have accumulated certain 'permanent features' such as the compost bins and the raspberries, gooseberries, blackberries and rhubarb. Whilst I've made sure we haven't planted the same veg in the same place for two years running, members of the 3 main groups - roots, brassicas and legumes- have found themselves flung at wide locations on the plot rather than grouped together as they should be. Andy pointed out that a lot of our problem is the amount of potatoes that we plant making the 'root' area bigger than the two areas assigned to brassicas and legumes which means we then have to lever things like cabbages and beans in wherever we can find a suitably large gap.

I agree. I also think some of it is Andy having trouble engaging with which vegetable belongs to which group and then planting stuff wherever he likes, generally when my back is turned. I could, at this point, raise the scandal of 'Cabbagegate' from last year, but as the sun is shining and Andy is great, I shan't. Plus, Andy is also eating the vegetables we grow, now I've convinced him they aren't poison, so at least he is engaging with them from that point of view.

The gardening books don't help either. Take an onion. Any onion. Look at it, put it back in the pack and shuffle it. Which group does an onion belong to? Well, you might say, it grows underground so it's a root. And yes, I fully agree with you. So plant it with the roots, you say. Pop it in with the carrots, parsnips and beetroot.

No! Apparently, onions can go in with the legumes. Well, not this year they ain't. I've already got them growing in lines next to the potatoes. But at least I can relieve the pressure of space in the root area next year by moving the onions.

Now, what about swede? Root, legume, brassica? Brassica, legume, root? 'ROOT!' you shout, 'because it grows underground and when Hugh F-W says he's going to make a hearty stew with winter vegetables, sure as eggs is eggs, he'll put swede in the pot.' (But not eggs).

WRONG! Botanically, a swede is a brassica. Ha! B****y Charles Darwin has got a lot to answer for. I reckon his pen must have slipped when he was classifying that little nugget of evolution. I bet he knew he'd mucked it up too, just couldn't be bothered to amend it. 'Oh, darn, I've misclassified the swede as a brassica instead of a root. Ah well, it'll keep the gardeners on their toes when they do their crop rotations. And Denise will never manage to grow them beyond the size of a tennis ball anyway so they don't really count unless someone invents nouvelle cuisine.'

And then you have things like lettuce, tomatoes, aubergines, squashes, courgettes, spinach and sweetcorn. You can bung them in with any group. 'Intercropping' it's called. And then SOME gardeners treat potatoes and onions as their own separate rotational elephants, I mean, elements. My plan is starting to look incredibly complicated.

But I have allocated spaces now and nothing but NOTHING is going to encroach on anything else's area. No beans creeping in with the cauliflowers, no carrots flirting with broccoli, no Andy thinking 'Those beetroot will look nice there amongst the peas.'

I bought another cheapo grapevine this morning from Wilkos. I've decided to start a line of them running along the border of the allotment we share with string girl in order to form a grape hedge. Just to complete the enclosure once and for all. Oh yes, news on string girl. According to her father, who appeared yesterday to do some half-hearted hoeing, she has gone abroad to teach privileged children in a private school. So my prediction that she wouldn't last a whole veg growing year was right! Ha!

And that is all I have to say on the subject, in case I sour my grapes.