The gas bill cameth...

After basking in the sun for the last few days and thinking, 'Cor, this is nice and warm after the long, cold months,' it appears winter hasn't quite left after all and was lulling us into a false sense of security because...

...IT'S BLOOMIN' FREEZING TODAY!

Having got a 'cor blimey' size gas bill this week, I went into town to pay it before I spent the money on something frivolous like, oh, food, for example. The electricity company had thoughtfully sent their bill at the same time but luckily it wasn't half so scary as the gas bill (must be all the energy saving light bulbs and using the washine machine at 30 degrees and stomping around the house yelling 'Do we have to have ALL these lights on? And why is the freezer door swinging wide open AGAIN??'.) I also needed to get some birthday cards as several of our friends and family very inconsiderately decided to bunch their birthdays close together in March without a thought for us trying to balance our budget. (Okay, I take responsibility for one of those birthdays, the one belonging to my son, but he was supposed to arrive on 7th April so in effect it was his fault for arriving too early. To compensate, he's been late for everything else ever since.)

So I trotted into town, paid some money into my bank account, went to the Post Office to pay the utility bills and then into a card shop to purchase cards. And in the time it took me to read every card in the shop to make sure I got the right one for the right person, the weather had gone from a bit grey and cloudy to force ten gale and sleety showers.

'How on EARTH did that happen?' I exclaimed as I stepped from the shop, causing an elderly man to back away in alarm (did I say it out loud? I didn't plan to. Must have though. I'll need to watch that - yelling out things in public.)

I had planned to look for birthday pressies, too, but due to the buffeting wind and icy rain lashing into my face and rendering me unable to see where I was going, I battled my way home for a cup of tea instead. And as I waited for the kettle to boil and watched the hens running around the garden looking a bit soggy and trying to get into the greenhouse which is now shut and out of bounds on account of it being full of freshly planted seed which I DO NOT want digging up, I listened to the radio and they were talking about this year's 'Big Day Out.'

Now, the Big Day Out is an annual event peculiar to Kent for Kent people when you can go on-line and book two free tickets for entry to one of the participating venues. This year it is happening on 28th March. So I thought, well, we're on a budget this year, we don't get out much, I'll have a look and see what's on offer.' And since the booking line had only been open since 10 am today and it was only 11 a.m I thought, 'there'll be plenty to choose from.'

Wrong! Despite there being well over a hundred participating venues, many were already booked out. I scanned the list of venues. And there, at the very bottom, was the Yalding Organic Garden which Andy and I have oft thought of visiting (being v. keen on stuff like that) but never got around to. Because I was feeling a bit miserable now on account of the dire weather, the fact I am going to feel guilty about putting the heating on and the 'Go Ape!' tickets at Leeds Castle being all gone, I thought, I bet all the tickets have gone for this attraction, too, but NO! They hadn't! So I was applying and printing like a mad thing and we've now got tickets for a free day out! How exciting is that, Andy!??!! Gardening + veg growing + organics + lunch in a slow food cafe = Denise is happy again. (Little things, little minds etc etc blah, blah, blah)

I know what Heather is thinking. She's thinking, 'Mum wanted to go on the 'Go Ape!' attraction at Leeds Castle? That's most unlike her.' And she'd be right. Of course I don't want to be flinging myself from trees on ropes and hurtling down zip wires at an alarming rate towards the ground and certain death. But it was the principle of the matter, you see. The principle!

So, what with the water board decreasing our annual bill by 50%, the mortgage coming down, not having to buy eggs, a free day out at Yalding Organic Garden and the electricity bill being smaller than anticipated I reckon the gas bill was actually free! All I need to do now is hand-craft Chris a golf club from a broomstick and a baked bean tin for his birthday present and I'll be quids in!

You see, it all balances out eventually. I think I shall put the heating on after all.