You say 'Tomatoes- yuk!' and I say 'TOMATOES! YUM!' And you say 'Do we really need that many?'

The polytunnel has been ordered! It is on its way! Hurrah, because the greenhouse, 'conservatory' and Heather's bedroom window are starting to get a bit full as the seedlings grow and need potting on and take up more and more space.

I have started planning what to do with the new polytunnel. We've ordered a 12' x 10' size, this being the biggest one we can fit in the space available at the allotment. We actually measured the space properly on Sunday with a tape measure, instead of relying on our previous 'arms outstretched' method.' Where once our allotment seemed a HUGE space (especially when the weeds scored a minor victory late last summer), it now seems to be shrinking.

The polytunnel will be home to the tomatoes, aubergines and peppers. I'm going to turn the greenhouse at home over to the cucumbers so I can keep a very close eye on them this year as they have proven to be tricksy little beggars the last two years and I want to do better with them this season. You see how much my life has changed since I gave up teaching? The targets I was set in my last staff appraisal with my line manager at school were things like 'Achieve a 68% GCSE A*-C pass rate' and 'Identify underachieving boys (esp. those on the C/D border) and implement personal achievement plans for each student in order for them to reach their full potential'. And this year, my targets from my line manager meeting with myself are things like 'Grow a longer cucumber' and 'Give Jerusalem artichokes a go, they might taste better than they look.'

Of course, if my cucumbers do underachieve this year, I shall be bottom of the 'Cucumber Growing' league tables and am likely to have to go into a 'Special Measures' regime which will mean I shall be visited by a pompous cucumber consultant who will give me loads of old twaddle about how to maximise the potential of a cucumber even when they've never tried growing one themselves. Only this time, unlike teaching, I shall be able to tell the cucumber consultant to eff off and stick his advice where the sun doesn't shine!

So, here I am planning the polytunnel growing space. I think, 'I'd better check how many tomato/ peppers/ aubergine seedlings I am going to have to accommodate in our new gardening toy, bearing in mind I'll need to allocate space for a couple of deckchairs and a little table for the cucumber sandwiches and Pimms.'

Ooops!

Chilli peppers - 11 (don't listen to anyone who says 'You'll have trouble getting those to germinate'. They are WRONG!)
Sweet peppers - 7
Aubergines - 6
Tomatoes - 72

72!!!???!!! How did that happen?

'Do we really need that many tomatoes?' asks Andy. 'Especially as it's only you that likes them.'

Okay, so I may have gone a bit overboard with the tomato plants. I kind of chucked in a few extra seeds here and there just in case some of them didn't germinate. I planted 4 varieties - Moneymaker (because it was a variety favoured by my grand-dad), Tigerella (which I think are the scrummiest tomatoes EVER!), Garden Pearl ( a cherry tomato because a gardener should always eat cherry tomatoes straight from the vine) and Roma (a plum tomato so I can make passatta to store for winter and beat Sainsbugs at their tinned tomato game).

The trouble is, now I have planted, nutured and grown these little tomato seedlings, I am loathe to cull any of them. I'll find a home for each and every one of those plants even if it means taking the roof off the house, covering it with a gi-normous piece of plastic and turning the attic into 'Growing Facility Number 5.'

'Oi!' says Andy. 'Steady on there, you tomato maniac!'

And now, I'm afraid I shall have to go. I made a nice chicken 'n' sausage 'n' rice casserole thing for dinner last night which included a tin of kidney beans. And today I am having 'bloating issues'.