Monday, 20 December 2010

Fat Hens Part Two

'We, the aforementioned 'fat hens', wish it to be known that we are NOT fat, merely fluffy. Furthermore, we should like to distance ourselves from this ridiculous letter writing malarkey. Finally, we should like to finish by saying, 'Fat hen? Ha! Look who's talking? Pot, kettle and black we think. Other than that, Happy Christmas, One and All.'

July - We wrote and illustrated our first book. Three major publishing houses entered a bidding war for the right to publish but we declined their kind offers - we write for the love of the craft, not for material gain or world-wide recognition of our literary talents.

By August, the pineapples were ready for harvesting. What a successful experiment! Of course, the addition of the palm house to the back garden may have helped them on their way. Next year we're thinking coconuts. Our allotment venture continues apace and we're glad to say the minor issue with our allotment neighbour about the positioning of a compost tumbler and support wire for the grapevine, which resulted in the summoning of the police, ended in a verbal warning and the surrender of two kilos of pink fir apple potatoes, a bunch of cornflowers and a lollo rosso. Our grand-daughter proves herself genius material by passing her Maths GCSE with a 'B' grade.

With Christmas just around the corner, we set about preparing for the festivities with gusto. The end of September saw presents brought and wrapped, cards made (yes, busy though we are, we craft our own Christmas greetings - makes you wanna be sick, doesn't it??), goose ordered, and decorations down from the attic, dusted and ready to deck the halls. Well, it pays to be organised, doesn't it? Just in case of snow...

A busy October for Andy, this being his month for Autumn foraging. We can barely get near the kitchen for all the fruits, berries, greenery and dubious looking fungi he brings home to pickle, bottle, preserve, or brew. What larks! Only one bottle of wine exploded this year; luckily we whizzed through casualty in under five hours and the doctor said the damage to Andy's hearing should be minimal.

Decided to host a combined Hallowe'en/ Bonfire Night Extravaganza which went very well despite the gate-crashers from the local primary school. Good news arrived from NetWork South East informing us that the next part of the high speed rail link will not, after all, be passing within six feet of our front door...phew!

And so, here we are, in December with Christmas once more on the door step. It hardly seems 365 days since last Christmas. But don't worry - we're already stocking up on news to fill next year's fat hen letter! Andy is booked up an evening class called 'The Philosophy of the Trumpet' and I'm in training for the Rome to Home Skateboard Challenge. Looks like 2011 will be just as busy as 2010.

Until next year - Happy Christmas and All That Crazy New Year Jazz!!

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