Monday, 3 January 2011

I Can Make You...

Blimey! Paul McKenna has got it made, hasn't he? All he has to do each year is think of something he can make us do, write a book about it using a format based on the previous year's offering, include a subliminal message CD and conduct a few seminars and I bet he won't have to worry about his fuel bills ever again.

This year it's 'I Can Make You Happy.'

Odd that. I beg to differ. The only person who can make me happy is me. I mean, if we were to start relying on other people to make us happy, we'd be heading helter-skelter for some kind of blame culture...oh no, hang on a minute...we're already in one.

'What's up with you then? You look like you're chewing a wasp.'
'Well, it's me Mum/ brother/ kids/ workmates/ bank manager/ florist innit? It's their fault I'm feeling so miserable.'
'Oh really?'
'Yeah. Want to hear about it?'
'Not really, but I expect you're going to tell me anyway...'

Etc etc blah, blah, blah.

You see - that's the thing . Be responsible for your own happiness, and stop blaming other people. It's not how they behave towards you, it's how you deal with their behaviour. I find sticking my fingers in my ears and going 'tra-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaa!!' helps enormously in maintaining my own happiness.

To be fair to Paul though, I haven't yet read the extracts from his latest tome, published in today's Daily Rant, and he might indeed tell us to deal with our own state of mind rather than blaming it on other people. In which case, I apologise unreservedly, but I shan't be buying the book.

I wonder what he'll come up with next year. Having already tried to make us thinner, richer and sleepier, may I make the following suggestions?

1) I Can Make You A Better Driver
2) I Can Make You Believe in Alien Life Forms
3) I Can Make You a Jolly Nice Vegetable Soup with Croutons If You Like
4) I Can Make You A Star But Only If You Are David Essex
5) I Can Make You Lay an Egg

Or Andy's suggestion which is...

6) I Can Make You Jump!

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