Sunday, 25 November 2012

Leibster 2

Right, it's not that I've been thinking about these eleven questions very much, oh no sirree, but more that I haven't had time to do the eleven questions justice. Lots of stuff has been happening in the last week or so, which I shall reveal in a later blog, but as I sit here, having done 4 hours of marking, I am going to indulge in a fairly lengthy blog whilst keeping half an eye on the First Christmas TV Film of the Year - Fred Claus.

Q1. If you could win any competition in the world, what would it be for?
A1. Well, dear Questionner, the obvious answer would be for writing wouldn't it, but as that goes without saying, then my less obvious and slightly more entertaining answer would be 'Best Dancing for Person Who Hasn't Had a Proper Dance Lesson for 37 years Since She Did Ballet 'n' Tap After School on a Friday.' Or, as it is known nowadays, 'Strictly Come Dancing.'

Q2. If you could eliminate one habit you have, what would you stop doing?
A2. Switching everything off at the plugs because I am certain that if I don't, the electricity will leak and we will get a bill for a gazzillion English pounds which we won't be able to pay and will thus be rendered homeless, and all for the sake of turning off the digital radio properly at the mains.

Q3. If a photo of you were to be used in an advertisement, which part would you want used, and for what product or service?
A3.This is a no brainer - I have a photo of me, aged around three yeas old, sitting in a pushchair holding a live spider monkey wearing a polo neck jumper (the monkey, not me) looking totally unimpressed by the experience (me, not the monkey). The product would be nuts.

Q4. If you had to have a piece of music softly playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would it be?
A4. Hmmm...tricky this one. Went to a very loud Adam Ant concert this time last year and it took nine months for the background whistling to abate. So I will say 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Toploader for the daytime, and Gymnopedie No.1 by Satie for nighttime because nothing beats a bit of plinky plonky piano music to calm the soul.

Q5. If you had to be the underwear of someone famous, who would you choose to wear you?
A5. One of Miss Piggy's corsets. What an adventure in satin and lace that would be!

Q6. If you could have the world's largest collection of one thing, what would it be?
A6. Flowers. Proper flowers, too, like roses, lily of the valley, lavender, primroses, poppies, ones that look pretty and smell nice. Either that or kittens. Or Paperblank notebooks. Tres posh!

Q7. If you could have stopped ageing at any point in your life up to the present time, how old would you want to remain?
A7. 36 years old. Young enough to defy gravity, old enough to not really care (about the gravity thing, I mean, not 'caring' in general because that would be a bad thing if we all stopped caring. Actually, it would be pretty bad if gravity stopped, too....oh, shut up Denise!)

Q8. If you had to eliminate one of the four seasons permanently, which one would go?
A8. Summer. When did we last have a proper summer? You don't get them nowadays, well, not here in Kent. It's all wishy-washy patheticness. Every year people say, 'Ooh, I can't wait for summer,' and you wait and it never turns up properly and you end up feeling hugely disappointed by the whole malarkey. You know where you stand with the other seasons. Summer has become irritatingly unreliable.

Q9. If you could have a romance with any fictional character, who would it be?
A9. Now, it would have to be either Mr Darcy from 'Pride and Prejudice' or Pop Larkin from 'The Darling Buds of May'. And as this question appertains to fiction, I have combined the two to make a new fictional character called Mr Pop Darcy de Larking About. Perfick!

Q10. If you could destroy a single CD your partner plays, what would it be?
A10. I can honestly say that Andy doesn't play any CD that annoys me. And if he does, I wouldn't notice because he is usually plugged into earphones whilst listening. Some pretty weird sci-fi things occur sometimes, but they don't induce annoyance in me, merely the raising of the eyes to heaven and a bit of sighing.

Q11. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
A11. I hate circuses. All those weird clowns with their clowny faces and clowny behaviour which is about as entertaining as sticking pins in your eyes, and people balancing on things and swinging from things and whooping. But if my arm was forced I'd be in charge of chicken juggling. Not juggling with chickens you understand, but teaching chickens to juggle. That should keep me out of the spotlight for a while.

And thus end my responses to the eleven questions posed by Azara.

Job done!

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