Friday, 25 January 2013

How To Make Your Head Hurt...

...aside from the obvious, like banging it on an open cupboard door, or trying to remember how to do Maths when you thought the last time you would ever have to do Maths EVER again was when you finished your O level exam 31 years ago, well, the other way is to read all the bumff that goes with trying to register yourself as self-employed with HMRC. (Is the Queen self-employed? Does she have to pay her NI contributions and fill out a self-assessment twice a year? Does she claim back the tax on her Corgi food?)

So, this is what I have been doing this afternoon. To be honest, I have probably read a little bit more than I needed to, given that my self-employed status is going to be very simple i.e tutoring as and where I can find it (unless, of course, the three book novel writing deal comes in), and I am anticipating not even reaching the lower levels of income tax liability let alone being able to claim for things like stationery, petrol and lunch time jollies to Pret a Manger.

The registration form, once I had found the correct one to fill in ('Do NOT fill in this form if you are a fisherman,' etc) was very simple. The only bit that flummoxed me was the bit where I was asked the name of my company. My company? Well, my company at this moment in time are Tybalt (frying his head on the radiator), Phoebe (frying her head on the electric heater) and Pandora (frying her head on my backside and thus preventing me from sitting back in the chair properly, having to perch on the front instead so I don't squish the kitty because the kitty rules).

I don't have a name for my company. It is just me. And as the box was not highlighted by a compulsory information red asterisk, I left it blank. I only hope the Inland Revenue don't call and demand I give my company a name because it will lead to undue pressure, then panic and a stupid name like Testy Tutoring Dot Com being plucked randomly from the air.

I have done some writing this morning. But then I got stuck, and was staring into space and thinking that Hugely Perky was a great name for a character. And when things like that happen, it is best to stand back from the keyboard and do something else instead.

Reading next. Because us self-employed people can!


rusty duck said...

Now that would make your head hurt..

I rue the day ladies were made responsible for their own tax affairs. Feminism gone too far.

Denise said...

Hello Jessica! I agree. I also rue the day when it was decreed that the occupation of ladies was no longer to be swooning on a chaise longue, eating chocolate and reading novels with Mr Darcy in them all day!