Usually, I don't sit up to see in the New Year. I mean, it'll be there in the morning, won't it? No need for me to be there, tooting my hooter and yodelling Auld Lang Syne. And I need my sleep. By ten o'clock I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.
But yesterday, I did sit up. I was wide awake. I was a-filling in my diaries (two this year - one practical, one spiritual), I was doing a bit of reading, a bit of jigsaw puzzling and Andy was making pancakes. At midnight, we were dancing in a highly groovy 'n' funky manner, bopping and weaving around our little living room, throwing some happenin' shapes and generally getting a bit silly and giggly. ( Bnbbb...sorry, that was Pandora, treading on my I-pad screen. I have no idea what 'Bnbbb' means - probably some feline New Year greeting like 'May all your sardines be fresh.' Anyway, she's sitting on my feet now. And thus I continue....)
So, having greeted the New Year, I went to bed, slept like a log, got up with the sun and had scrambled eggs (thank you Primrose!) and mushrooms for breakfast. Andy went jogging, but then he had been drinking last night and I hadn't, so you figure who has the most brain cells left!
And then it was time to crack on with my traditional New Year's Day activity - denude the house of Christmas decorations, my thinking being that this is 2013 and Christmas, therefore, is sooooo last year.
Now, the Christmas tree was a cut one. Sans roots. And, despite being watered, it has been looking a bit - how shall I say? - brittle for a few days. Whilst Andy trotted off to do some on-line veterinary study course because he is very good like that and spends his time productively, I trotted off to deal with the brittle tree.
I looked at it. It looked at me. Normally it would be a case of removing tinsel and baubles, and wrestling tree outside in one piece, with maybe a few pine needles lost en route. But this tree? Well, it was daring me to take it out in one trip. It was saying, 'Touch me, and I shall drop every single needle I have immediately in a massive pine avalanche. Go on, I dare you. Touch me and feel the force.'
Hmmm...several thoughts went through my mind. Put tree in an enormous bag? Call the tree's bluff and drag it outside regardless as per usual? Leave it standing in the corner of the room until we move house and it'll be someone else's problem? I reached out a tentative finger and lay it gently on the very end of the tip of a branch. Six thousand needles immediately descended to the floor, making the sound of a tiny waterfall as they went.
This was a job for the secateurs, the big hoover, the little hoover, the dust pan and brush and a bin bag.
And thus I spent an hour this morning pruning a tree into nothingness, and hoovering and sweeping the remains from our living room one branch at a time. Ye Gods, talk about being stopped in your hit-the-ground-running tracks!
And my New Year Resolutions?
1) Write more, preferably 4 best-selling novels of critical acclaim.
2) Smuggle at least 2 more kittens, three more hens and a small dog into the house without anyone noticing.
3) Stop swearing in traffic.
4) Say something pretentious every day.
5) Move into a large Georgian manor with 5 acres of land so Perpetua and Fergus can have a pony each (that's dealt with Resolution number 4 already - aren't I good??!!)
6) Stop using the end of Tybalt's tail as a comedy moustache.
7) Start doing Zumba and take the hens with me (their idea, not mine. I'm not sure how chicken proof a dance floor is.)
8) Become obsessed with doing jigsaw puzzles so I'll have something to give up in 2014.
Wishing you all, my lovely MMM houseguests, a very Happy, Peaceful and Prosperous New Year!