Systems a-go-go

An appointment has been confirmed for us to visit our house in Wales on Saturday. Along with the appointment came a) a plan of the land that goes with the house and b) a set of rather worrying instructions of how to get to the house which included choice phrases such as 'rough track' , '4x4 vehicles only', 'angry farmer' and 'park at the end of the road and walk a quarter of a mile up the hill.'

And the answer phone message Andy got from the estate agent saying that e-mail was being sent  with the instructions and plans started along the lines of, 'Ah, so you are the people who want to view the semi-derelict house.'

Ooo- eer!

Anyway, the map of the land was interesting. Sort of rhomboid, edged to one and a bit sides by some hefty looking trees and then a bit of a swathe of land around one side and out the front. Or possibly back, I haven't quite got my bearings yet.

'What's that?' said I, thinking that is looked like a bit of a field.
'It's a bit of a field,' said Andy. ' I think there's about half an acre altogether.'

Corr, I thought. I could fit a fair few chickens on half an acre. And geese. Hooter and Honker could have a playmate called Alice.

Andy read the instructions for getting to the house. Firstly, I am hoping the weather holds out for us. I am not sure I could manage an umbrella and climbing gear. Secondly, I'm thinking that perhaps I should take a homemade cake to placate any grumpy farmers we may encounter and thirdly, I am also thinking perhaps we should leave a trail of breadcrumbs in case we get lost in the woods and Welsh mountain rescue have to send out a search party for the stupid English house hunters.

And fourthly, I am thinking maybe some sort of harness might be appropriate so Andy and I can take turns hauling each other up the rough terrain. I said, 'is it too late to buy a pony?' and Andy said yes it was, and it was also too late to buy a donkey/ shire horse/ goat and trap and any other form of alternative form of transport I might be considering.

So our plan is to leave Kent v.early on Saturday morning and travel up a bit and across a bit until we get almost there, stopping off for various cups of tea and buns along the way.And then we shall follow the instructions.

And hope that we won't be disappointed and that we emerge unscathed from the whole hillsidey derelictness of it all.