Advent Day 17

'It's stopped feeling like Christmas,' I say to the hens, as we sit surrounded by pine, holly, ivy, tinsel, fairy lights, candles, cards and stars.
'I know,' says Primrose. 'It didn't feel like Christmas...'
'...because it was August,' says Primrose.
'...and then it did start to feel like Christmas,' says Daisy.
'...because it was December and very cold and icy,' says Primrose.
'...and then it stopped feeling like Christmas,' says Daisy.
'...because it was still December but warmer and wetter,' says Primrose.
'...so what are we going to do about it?' I say, because I am now quite anxious to stop the girls in their inane wittering. Cor, once they get going, they don't half witter, these two.

'Well,' says Daisy, 'today's Advent Box contains an emergency 'Get In The Christmas Mood' kit, so we'd better whip it out and put it to use.'
'Indeed,' I say, and open the box.

'A ball of wool?' I say, retrieving the first object in the emergency kit.
'For the knitivity,' explains Primrose.
'Nativity,' I say.
'Bless you!' says Primrose.

It's going to be one of those evenings, I can tell.

Object number two - boxing gloves decorated with tinsel.
'Christmas punch!' says Daisy.
'Okay,' I say. 'Should we be encouraging violence during the festive season?'
'Should we be encouraging violence at all?' says Daisy.
'True,' I say.
'You'll be glad of those on Boxing Day,' says Primrose. 'Ahahahahahahaha!'

Object number three - a manicure set.
'For Santa's claws,' explains Primrose.
'Is there anything at all vaguely really Christmassy in this box?' I say, reaching in and pulling out a sink plunger.
'I don't know how that got in there,' says Daisy.
'Crackers, for instance,' I say. 'What about crackers?'
'Ah,' says Daisy, 'now we definitely put crackers in there.'

She's right. Cream crackers.
'These won't go 'BANG!' when you pull them,' I say.
'Of course they won't,' say the hens in unison. 'They'll go,'Where's the Stilton?'
'Oh good grief,' I say.

This is turning into a real emergency kit, but for all the wrong reasons. I pour out a cup of fresh tea for everyone.
'What would your emergency kit contain then?' says Daisy. 'What would summon the feeling of Christmas for you?'

I chew on a shortbread finger and have a think.

'Snow outside, a roaring open fire,' I say. 'All my family home and safe, cats draped across the back of the sofa, laughter, a funny film or sitcom on the telly, a good book to read, the scent of hyacinths, cheesy baked potatoes and hot chocolate that stays hot and doesn't turn into lukewarm sludge ten seconds after it hits the bottom of the mug.'

'Is that all?' says Primrose.
'I think so,' I say.

Daisy appears from a final root around in the bottom of the box. 'Will a fish kettle do?' she says.