Thursday, 6 December 2012

Advent Day 6

Primrose and Daisy appear with the Advent box this afternoon as soon as I arrive home from work. The box is looking a tad mucky.

'What have done to the Advent box?' I say, as the hens drag it across the relatively clean kitchen floor leaving relatively unclean streaks of mud behind them.
'It's her fault,' says Daisy, pointing an accusing wing at Primrose. Primrose holds up her wings.

'I hold up my wings,' she says.
'So I see,' I say.
'I mean, I admit it was my fault,' says Primrose.
'I know,' I say.

We look at each other, confused for a moment.

'Anyway,' says Daisy, 'the Advent box looks a right Royal mess because yesterday SHE said she had found a brilliant Advent gift to put in it, and this morning the gift was gone and I wanted to fill it with chocolate and nuts...'
'Which would have been nice,' I say.
'...indeed,' says Daisy, 'but she said, 'No, this is far more exciting. Come on, help me put it in the box.'
'And did you?' I say.
'Yes,' says Daisy. 'I had my doubts, because quite frankly I couldn't see the fascination and...'
'Can I just interject here?' says Primrose. 'Because I think Lady Malarkey would have enjoyed it enormously...'
'If someone hadn't stolen it,' snorts Daisy.
'Please don't fight about it,' says Lady Malarkey, er...I. 'What was it, anyway?'
'You tell her,' says Daisy. 'I'm off to Zumba,' and off she trots with Heather, who has been Zumba-ing for several weeks now and is very excited because tonight it is Christmas Zumba, whatever that is.

'Carry on, Primrose,' I say.
'Oooh, it was lovely,' says Primrose. 'We got up yesterday and went into the garden and we saw something we'd never ever seen before in our entire, albeit very short lives so far.'
'Tango Pete?' I say, because I've been waiting for him to make an appearance to try his chat up skills on the new girls.
'No,' says Primrose. 'Something far more exciting. It was really bright and white and sparkly, and it made everything it touched look pristine and neat and clean. I said to Daisy, 'Lady Malarkey would like this. It would make housework so much easier. Cover and disguise in one neat move.'
'I have to say that not all of my housework entails covering and disguising,' I say.
'Well, anyway, we scooped lots of this stuff up and put it in the Advent box,' says Primrose. 'It was really cold. It gave me wing freeze. But overnight, someone stole it. We had a whole boxful, and when we looked this morning it was all gone and all that was left was a muddy box with a soggy bottom.'

I am thinking that yesterday we had the first snow of Winter.

'It was snow,' I say. 'You filled a box with snow and overnight it melted into water and drained away.'

Primrose stares at me. I can see her forehead pulsing where her brain is ticking.

'Nope,' she says. 'What's snow?'
'You're going to have to google it,' I say, and pass her my iPad. 'Only I've just got in from work and I need a wee and you've left wet muddy streaks all over the kitchen floor that I suppose I'll have to clear up.'
'Yes,' says Primrose. 'Quite ironic really, that we tried to bring you a present to help with the housework and it's ended up making even more of a mess. Ahahahahahahahaha!'

'Leave now,' I say.
'Before or after I google?' says Primrose.
'Either,' I say.
'Can I have a biscuit?'
'If you must.'
'Thanks, Lady Malarkey,' says Primrose.

And because I like it that she calls me Lady Malarkey and she is a chatty girl first thing in the morning when it is cold and dark, I forgive her for filling a box with snow and trying to give it to me for Advent.

P.S Phoebe has had her thyroid removed today. Andy says it was disgusting and it's gone off for tests so we aren't out of the woods just yet, but Phoebe is very chipper, eating like a cat who is intent on gaining as much weight as she can as quickly as possible, and is at this very moment purring so loudly I can hear her across the far side of the room. But this may be due to Andy giving her ears a good clean out whilst she was under anaesthetic, and clean ears make one feel VERY chipper indeed.

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