Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Advent Day 4

'There is something abstract in the Advent Box today,' says Primrose, who is still recovering from the episode with the Falalalalalala Terminator. 'And you'd better open the box quick because she'll run out of air if you don't.'

'Okay,' says I, and open the box.

'Ta-dah!' says Daisy, who has been therewithin, and doing a goodly job of holding her breath. She is wearing a pair of comedy reindeer antlers and a comedy reindeer nose. She looks like a chicken doing an impression of a comedy reindeer.

'I'd hardly call a real live hen abstract,' I say.
'It would be a stupid name,' agrees Primrose. 'Can you imagine shouting it from the back door - "Oo-ooo...Abstract! Come here, Abstract!"

'Stupid indeed,' I say. 'So why abstract?'

Daisy interrupts. 'We heard a joke yesterday and thought it would be a good way to mark Advent Day 4 because it has a Christmas tilt to it. It is a little bit saucy,' she adds.

'That's okay,' I say. 'I've spent three hours non-stop with a bunch of 15 year olds today. I can handle a bit of sauce.'

'Right,' says Daisy. 'Here we go...three men arrive at the Gates of Heaven and St Peter says, 'You can come in but because it is Christmas you have to produce something that reminds you of the festive season.'

So the first man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out his keys. 'These remind me of Christmas because when I jangle them they sound like jingle bells,' he says.

'Okay,' says St Peter, 'you may come into Heaven.'

The second man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a lighter. 'This reminds me of Christmas,' he says, 'because when I light it, it is like a candle and a flame.'

St Peter agrees and allows the second man through the pearly gates.

The third man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a pair of ladies knickers.

'How do they remind you of Christmas?' St Peter asks the third man.

'They're Carol's,' the third man replies.

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